Squidbillies

The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet

Early's most confusing conspiracy theory turns out to be false.

S11 EP4TV-14 DLS

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Season 13

EP 1 One Man Banned

Early exercises his freedom of speech by speeching differently from now on.

EP 2 Let 'er R.I.P.

The Roadkill Rembrandt rides again.

EP 3 No Space Like Home

Early revisits the storage unit where he spent his childhood.

EP 4 Scorn on the 4th of July

Early LARPs as a military veteran to save 10% on an omelet.

EP 5 Zen and the Art of Truck-Boat-Truck Maintenance

Early achieves enlightenment, then shoves it down everyone else's throat.

EP 6 Who-Gives-A-Flip?

Sheriff does.

EP 7 Ol' Hootie

Terror strikes from the skies! Who's next? Hoo!

Season 12

EP 1 Forever Autumn

Dan Halen's foolish new plan prompts Early to open a foolish new business.

EP 2 Galvin

Granny finds love and Early loses his mind.

EP 3 Muscadine Wine

Early and Tammi start a band in a star-studded episode that got us a free cruise.

EP 4 The Reenactment of the Repulsion of the Siege of Cuyler Mountain

Early finds a priceless civil war relic and sells it for the right price.

EP 5 Rich Dan, Poor Dan

Dan Halen finds financial bankruptcy less enjoyable than moral bankruptcy.

EP 6 Cooler-Heads Prevail

Early enjoys the highfalutin lifestyle of owning a premium cooler.

EP 8 There's Sucker Porn Every Minute

Early lets his beak flag fly.

Season 11

EP 1 Dove in an Iron Cage

Justice is served, mayo free.

EP 2 The Guzzle Bumpkin

Grab deez nutz and Guzzle up!

EP 3 Jacksonville Jackass

Sheriff discovers alcohol at the world's largest outdoor cocktail party.

EP 4 The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet

Early's most confusing conspiracy theory turns out to be false.

EP 5 The Ballad of the Latrine Marine

It takes a man to make the women's room safe from men who think they're women.

EP 6 Debased Ball

Early exploits himself for attention.

EP 7 Tortuga de Mentiras

Everyone lies and all the houses burn.

EP 8 Duel of the Dimwits

Two idiots argue about stuff nobody cares about.

EP 9 The War on the War on Christmas

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas!

EP 10 Dewey Two-ey

Two idiots open competing taquerias mere feet from one another.

Season 10

EP 1 Lipstick on a Squid

The Cuylers donate their bodies to science while they can still make money from them.

EP 3 Trackwood Race-ist

Early pulls from a bag of tricks to vanquish his grandson.

EP 4 The Peep

Sheriff tries stand-up comedy and kills himself.

EP 5 Vicki

Sheriff's old classmate makes the mistake of returning to town.

EP 6 Cephalo-ectomy

You can take the squid out of the boy, but it's not covered by insurance.

EP 7 Greener Pastor

Rest in Peace, Scott Hilley.

EP 8 Squash B'Gosh

Jealousy sparks industry sparks grave robbery sparks the apocalypse.

EP 9 Thanks-Taking

Rusty's new friend gets invited to a very special Thanksgiving dinner.

Season 9

EP 1 Hetero-Cephalo Agenda

Early takes one for the team, the wrong team, in the battle over marriage equality.

EP 2 Limbitless

Early trades his legs for walking around money.

EP 3 Taint Misbehavin'

Dan Halen faces his own mortality and finds solace in an ancient religion.

EP 4 Ink is Thicker Than Blood, Which is Thicker Than Water

Rusty commits a felony offense to prove he's a good dad.

EP 5 Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg!

Early triggers the collapse of society so he can enjoy his expensive new doomsday bunker.

EP 6 A Walk to Dignity

Sheriff's dad, the Sheriff, breaks the law to break down social barriers.

EP 7 Granny Hotfoot

Early discovers there's more than one way to beat a feeble old woman.

EP 8 Sheriff-in-Law

Early puts his love in all the wrong places.

EP 9 Hybrid To Hell

Early loses the love of his life.

EP 10 Jose, can you? Si!

Early learns the value of a hard day's work done by someone else.

Season 8

EP 1 Granite Caverns

Early becomes king of a local cave.

EP 2 Ga-Ga-Ghost

Early goes on a rampage with the ghost of his dead father.

EP 3 The Inkubator Lives!

Rusty ducks his responsibilities as a deadbeat dad to become an amateur crime-fighter.

EP 4 Drone to the Bone

America declares war on Early's new neighborhood.

EP 5 A Jailhouse Divided

Deputy Sheriff Denny runs for Sheriff against Sheriff Sheriff.

EP 6 Stop. Jammertime!

A new judge takes the controversial stance of punishing criminals.

EP 7 Thou Shale Not Drill

The squids have a nuanced and well thought out debate on the controversial practice of fracture mining.

EP 9 Gun of a Son

Early shoots Rusty to prove that guns should be legal.

Season 7

EP 1 Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D

Rusty sacrifices his mediocre dreams to support the family that abandons him.

EP 2 Beware the Butt-Cutter

When a serial killer is on the loose, Sheriff turns to the town's stupidest citizen for help.

EP 3 Squidbilly Manfishing

Sheriff and Rusty go on a manhunt for Early at Lake Okaleechee.

EP 4 Green and Sober

Lil's loved ones try to get her re-addicted to drugs.

EP 5 The Legend of Kid Squid

Early gets jealous that Rusty has been taking the credit for all the crimes Early blamed on him.

EP 6 From Russia With Stud

Sheriff almost makes the biggest mistake of his life, then does.

Season 6

EP 1 Asbestos I Can

Early's asbestos addiction finally catches up with him.

EP 2 Class of '86

At his high school reunion, the Sheriff settles an old score.

EP 3 Velvet Messiah

Early proves he's smarter than a town full of idiots.

EP 6 Snow Daddy

Early's parenting skills are called into question by a magical snowman.

EP 8 The Pharaoh's Wad

Scoot over, alcohol and inhalants, Early has a new addiction.

EP 9 The Return of Gaga Pee Pap

Gaga Pee Pap returns to pass the family ignorance on to Rusty.

EP 10 Trucked Up!

On a transatlantic trucker challenge, The Scrambler and The Mummy get in high gear and hot water!

Season 5

EP 1 The Need For Weed

The discovery of Lil's secret drug operation brings widespread panic to Dougal County.

EP 2 The Many Loves of Early Cuyler

Early decides to remain faithful to all 97 of his new wives.

EP 3 Dead Squid Walking

When his father is placed on death row, Early snaps to action and tries on a new hat.

EP 4 Young, Dumb, and Full of Gums

The squids are fed up with government attempts to improve their lives.

EP 5 Holodeck Redneck

Advances in modern technology allow Early to visit Florida.

EP 6 Frivolacious Squidigation?

Early's twisted dreams come true when Granny suffers a life-mangling injury.

EP 7 Fatal Distraction

Early's GPS shows him the fastest route from friendship to obsession, avoiding all toll roads.

EP 8 Clowny Freaks

Clowny Daggers!

EP 9 Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine

Rusty's special talent is playing football. Early's special talent is exploiting Rusty.

EP 10 America: Why I Love Her

Terror ensues after Early shoots a cow belonging to Al-Qaeda.

Season 4

EP 1 Lerm

An accident leads to rage leads to friendship leads to love leads to murder leads to political success.

EP 2 The Liar, the Bitch and the BoredRube

Books are a window to an amazing new world, and that's why they're wrong.

EP 3 The Fine Ol' Solution

Early protects menial American jobs from the Mexicans willing to do them.

EP 4 Anabolic-holic

Rusty discovers that steroids have no negative repercussions.

EP 5 Confessions of a Gangrenous Mind

Oldest living confederate widow doesn't say anything of real relevance.

EP 6 The Big Gay Throwdown

The Sheriff goes deep undercover to apprehend his most wanted man.

EP 7 Atone Deaf

Early learns to deal with rage by punching it in the face.

EP 8 God's Bro

The Cuylers slip the surly bonds of earth and touch the face of God's Bro.

EP 9 Reunited, And It Feels No Good

Early learns the importance of family, and profiting off them.

EP 10 Not Without My Cash Cow!

When the media sensationalizes his son's disappearance, Early finds the coverage to be sensational.

Season 3

EP 1 Webnecks

Rusty opens up a world of digital wonder when he mashes buttons.

EP 2 Beast Implants

Granny indulges in the ultimate spa experience.

EP 3 Tween Steam

Perverts need love. Rusty delivers.

EP 4 Wing Nut

Early's DNA is finally put to good use.

EP 5 Mephistopheles Traveled Below To A Southern State Whose Motto Is "Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation"

Rusty's soul is a pawn in the endgame between good and evil.

EP 6 Earth Worst

The squids fail to learn a valuable lesson about conservation.

EP 7 The Good One

Lil's disregard for birth control provides a lifelong friend for Early.

EP 8 Sharif

Smelling youthful and sexy comes at a heavy price.

EP 9 Condition: Demolition!

Pedal meets metal and windshield meets Rusty.

EP 10 The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma

A study of the migrations and libations of the ignorant redneck land squid.

EP 11 The Unbearable Heatness of Fire

Sheriff investigates the origins of fire, and its role in the burning of the squids' house.

EP 12 Tuscaloosa Dumpling

Early teaches Rusty that life is a game and sex is first place.

EP 13 Armageddon It On!

The greatest story ever told. About cartoon squids.

EP 14 Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody about Dan Halen

...About Dan Halen: An intimate look at one of history's most intriguing figures, presented in glorious English.

EP 15 Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby

The Squids stalk Georgia's rarest bird because the TV box told them to.

EP 16 An Officer and a Dental Dam

Granny's on the prowl for love, Confederate style.

EP 17 The Okaleechee Dam Jam

Drought is a disease. David Allan Coe is the cure.

EP 18 Pile M For Murder

Dan Halen tries his hand at human sacrifice.

EP 19 Mud Days and Cornfused

A pointless and moronic tale of the dangers of going green.

EP 20 Krystal, Light

Early's passion for Krystal spikes after she wins the lottery.

Season 2

EP 1 Government Brain Voodoo Trouble

Early and the Sheriff reach a crossroads. Not starring Charles Napier.

EP 2 Butt Trouble

Something strange comes out of Rusty's butt.

EP 3 Double Truckin' The Tricky Two

Early does his part to support Georgia public education.

EP 4 Swayze Crazy

The squids meet a legless drifter. Not featuring Patrick Swayze.

EP 5 Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble

Early's party hat enrages God.

EP 6 Meth O.D. to My Madness

Early discovers that his magic beans are far from magic.

EP 7 The Tiniest Princess

A giant ant-man ruins Halloween.

EP 8 Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust

Granny cheats death for another week.

EP 9 Bubba Trubba

Early learns a valuable lesson about the downside of mind control.

EP 10 Burned And Reburned Again

Violence leads to marriage in a very special Squidbillies.

EP 11 Terminus Trouble

Atlanta, home of several location shots used in Six Pack, starring Kenny Rogers.

EP 12 Survival Of The Dumbest

Early is indifferent to Rusty's search for truth.

EP 13 A Sober Sunday

Early circumvents state law.

EP 14 Rebel Without A Claus

Early ruins Christmas.

Season 1

EP 1 This Show Is Called Squidbillies

Introducing America's favorite animated family.

EP 2 Take This Job And Love It

Early seeks employment in a difficult job market.

EP 5 Family Trouble

Revelations regarding Rusty's maternity lead to questions regarding Rusty's paternity.

Extras

00:30

Shooter Jennings: Behind The Scenes

The Hold Steady closes out season 12 and performs the Squidbillies theme song. Catch the final episode on Sunday, September 15th at 12:15 am ET/PT on Adult Swim.

00:42

The Hold Steady: Behind The Scenes

The Hold Steady closes out season 12 and performs the Squidbillies theme song. Catch the final episode on Sunday, September 15th at 12:15 am ET/PT on Adult Swim.