Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
Steve and Principal Lewis get caught in a dangerous situation at the school; the rest of the family makes an adorable new friend.
Klaus and Jeff's friendship is threatened by Klaus's girlfriend from another realm.
When Jeff finds out that the family thinks he makes terrible decisions, he decides to take a job selling stretchy leggings to prove them wrong.
When Stan discovers anonymous love letters written to Francine, he worries that this secret admirer could threaten their relationship.
The judgmental voice in Hayley's head makes it impossible for her to enjoy a girls' night with Nerfer and Danuta.
Francine insists that Steve let her help with his school project, Stan finally fixes that shingle, and the rest of the family goes on a quest to return Gallagher's mallet.
In an attempt to maintain his "prime," Stan explores some cosmetic solutions that could not go worse.
When Stan goes too far to keep his work friend away from Francine, she is forced to save her new "little" friend.
Hayley makes Jeff get a friend to add some mystery to their relationship but gets more mystery than she bargained for. Francine attempts to grow the world's longest fingernails.
The Smiths get new neighbors! Meanwhile, Roger dreads having to be a little boy's kite for a day.
After concluding that Snot isn't cool enough to hang out with Steve, Stan concocts a scheme to separate the pair by sticking Snot in the Witness Protection Program; Roger gives Steve money to clean out his attic.
The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay (guest voice Alison Brie), breaks her leg in a soccer match, so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as "Baby Franny," the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman (guest voice Will Forte). Then, on the anniversary of her rescue, she falls down the well again and makes a shocking discovery. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial "eureka!" moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity - male stripper shoes.
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after he fakes a masters degree and buys an Oscar. Steve interviews Stan for a personal history assignment at school.
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina (Michelle Monaghan), a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend, so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan and his wife, Sexpun Tocome's honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain (guest voice Kevin Michael Richardson) fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
Francine pressures Steve to win the National Spelling Bee so he can get into a top college. Stan and Roger try to slam Hayley through the five stages of grief so she will get over Jeff faster.
When Stan loses his memory, Francine attempts to transform him into the perfect husband; Roger joins Steve's newspaper route.
