When Roger breaks his ankle, Francine convinces Stan to let him play in his basketball league. Meanwhile, Steve sings a song that parodies R. Kelley's "Trapped in the Closet."
When Stan discovers a salt mine in the backyard, the Morton Salt Company wants to buy it. It turns out Steve is the rightful owner of the land and he faces pressure from the family to sell.
Stan brings President Garfield back to life in order to teach Hayley about history. Steve writes for the school newspaper.
When Bullock is upset that somebody did not bring a gift to the CIA Secret Santa party, Stan goes on a mission to find out who it was. Meanwhile, Steve poses as the good guy boyfriend of several female classmates.
Stan and Steve start bowling together to have more quality time and Steve gets discovered for his bowling talent. Klaus holds a contest to test whether Roger or Hayley have the worse attention span.
In order to avoid being sent on a suicide mission, Stan learns how to become a DJ to beat Bullock in a DJ Battle. Jeff takes up drinking psychedelic teas and Roger helps him build an imaginary musical instrument.
The Smith family forgets to celebrate Father's Day, and so to make it up to Stan, they plan out the perfect day. Stan uses a CIA device to erase their memories and have them continually plan perfect days for him.
Stan goes over-the-top to produce a reenactment of Charles Lindbergh's solo flight for Steve's school project after he gets an F. Klaus buys a pair of shoes online and Hayley helps him harass the neighbor they believe has stolen them.
Hayley takes Roger with her to a meditation center and he quickly takes over, becoming one of the world's leading authorities on meditation. Stan and Steve become apprentices as they are taught the art of making sushi.
Stan is embarrassed when a painting of Francine's genitals, done by a famous artist, is unveiled at the museum. Steve turns to helping people after masturbation is ruined by his mom's portrait.
Stan is upset at the idea of becoming a grandfather after Hayley and Jeff announce they're trying to have a baby. Steve and Klaus join a drug gang after Steve decides to take being an uncle extra seriously.
Hayley experiences what pregnancy would be like after Roger agrees to give birth to Jeff so he can be human again. Snot's feelings are hurt when Steve secretly signs him up for a makeover.
The Smith family must rescue Steve after he is kidnapped and taken to the North Pole. There, Santa Claus is using children to mine for precious stones that he needs to perform an ancient ritual.
Francine becomes less attracted to Stan when he gets involved with slot car racing. Roger becomes a stewardess to perform comedy routines on the plane but is upset when another stewardess is funnier than him.
Steve and his friends take up witchcraft to gain power and popularity at school. Stan and Klaus become obsessed with remembering 90s bands.
Klaus gets transferred into the navigation system of Stan's car after Stan refuses to pay for a life-saving surgery. Steve and his friends prank Roger's Frank character and he terrorizes them for revenge.
Francine steals from the CIA and pretends to be a sexy supervillain to incite Stan to be more seductive. Roger tricks Hayley and Steve into trapping Jay Leno so he can take revenge on him.
Jeff, Francine and Roger decide to team up and start their own bus tour business, with murderous results!
After Stan is injured, Francine nurses him back to health and he becomes dependent to her. The family discovers Tuttle is a Korean reality show star.
Stan drags the family to a labyrinth for family game night; Roger gets some geese.
Steve and the boys take part in a prison experiment to earn some cash. Meanwhile, Stan deals with the death of his CIA groundskeeper friend.
Steve's efforts to befriend a Swedish exchange student backfire in a big way; The family calls in an animal behaviorist to deal with Klaus.