Greg and Terry decide to adopt a ten-year-old Russian boy named Michael. At a party celebrating the decision, Roger is jealous of Greg and Terry's fabulous lifestyle of culture and sophistication. Roger rejects the Smith family as trashy and impersonates Michael, successfully integrating into his new home.
Roger pushes himself to the breaking point by working non-stop at his dive bar. When he suffers a heart attack, Roger decides to sell the bar to a company that promises to continue his vision. Upon returning to visit, Roger sees that the dive bar has been completely remade as a family friendly restaurant.
Roger has been acting incredibly needy and clingy with the family. He senses something in the air that is affecting his behavior but he can't tell where its coming from. Roger leads Francine to a forest where they find a crashed alien ship, with the alien still alive.
When her efforts to save the planet prove hopeless, Hayley decides that she might get more attention if she becomes a blonde. Meanwhile, Stan and Steve go on a mission to find a new home for the Smiths.
When Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race in the living room.
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei and it's Steve’s mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced to be an outside pet.
When Francine's sister Gwen comes to town, Hayley suspects she is up to no good. Meanwhile, Stan teaches Steve the art of hugging Aunt Gwen and Klaus shadows Roger's dramatic comments.
When Steve insults Francine, she refuses to cook for him and he becomes a successful internet chef, appearing on a popular morning show. Meanwhile, Stan thinks he can make people invisible by snapping his fingers.
Hayley gets a job and starts to fall for a co-worker. Meanwhile, Stan chauffers Steve and Francine to a Mother-Son dance. Hayley is broke and gets an office job where she meets a cute co-worker named Ax. Klaus and Roger encourage her to have sex with Ax on an office retreat. Hayley is all for it until she finds out Ax is a married man. Hayley backs out when she sees he has a tattoo of Roger. Back at home, Stan steals Francine from Steve at the school dance and tries to make it up to him by letting them dance at home.
While on vacation in Los Angeles, Stan joins the world of old Hollywood.
When Stan wishes he could have Principal Lewis' carefree, single life, his wish comes true! Meanwhile, in his wish world, Principal Lewis has Stan's family.
Francine is up for an award for her lonely housewife novel, so the family heads to New York for the ceremony. Meanwhile, Stan and Hayley hang out with actor Robert Wuhl, and Steve and Roger recreate their Wheels and the Legman personas.
Hayley is dying to be on a roller derby team, but they will only let her play if her “sister” Steve will play too. Meanwhile, a magical carpenter visits Stan and Francine and Roger runs the roller rink.
Stan is horrified when he sees a couple die in a car crash, and he goes to see a shrink. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus study for a wine tasting.
Jeff returns from space...Or does he? Meanwhile, Steve watches after Snot's hamster.
American Dad is sold to a Chinese businessman. Meanwhile, Stan has Francine committed to an insane asylum when he forgets their anniversary.
When Stan lies about his texting and driving accident, he takes a seizure medication and suffers from the side effects. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve with his performance anxiety.
Francine reconnects with her birth family when she starts craving the experience of having a big family. Stan becomes a Picker based on his obsession with American Pickers.
While having trouble communicating, Stan and Hayley team up to stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Bazooka Sharks arena. Roger pretends to be an escort.
Roger and Klaus start having a secret affair after they accidentally end up on an online date together. Steve tries to catch Hayley's pink eye to get out of doing a fitness test at school.
Stan and Steve open up their own father-son garbage business after Stan inherits his father's old truck. Roger finds Hayley is a natural at bumper pool and brings her to play with the best player in town.
Roger becomes a marionette and injures other students to help Steve win the school talent show. Stan, Hayley and Klaus start their own local honey business.
