While throwing rotten apples into oncoming traffic with Peter, Chris hits the car of the coach of the James Woods High School baseball team. Impressed with his arm, Coach Doyle asks Chris to join the team.
Lois has a girls' night out with Bonnie and Donna where they decide to prank call their husbands. After Lois's friends ridicule their spouses, Lois decides to pretend to be Peter's long lost daughter.
At Stewie's graduation, Brian states that Stewie's proud moment is no big feat. Stewie takes it upon himself to try and acquire some real world knowledge. Meg is discovered by a photographer who asks her if she would like to model for him.
Meg is worried that she won't do well on her SATs, so she convinces Brian to take the test for her. A confident Brian agrees to the challenge, and even dresses up like Meg, only to find out that he received the lowest score in the class.
With the police force away, Joe recruits his buddies to fill the vacancies in the Quahog Police Department. Meanwhile, Brian reluctantly agrees to take Meg to her school dance. She is thrilled and falls madly in love with Brian. He tells Meg that it was a mistake and they are to remain only friends, but Meg doesn't handle this rejection well and begins to stalk Brian.
Brian accidentally sells Rupert to a man at the Griffin's garage sale. With Stewie absolutely devastated, Brian attempts to get the bear back. Unfortunately, the man who purchased Rupert has moved to Colorado with his family, so the two hit the road to recover the beloved bear.
Meg and Neil intern at a TV station; Stewie loses his tricycle to a bully.
Peter becomes a commercial fisherman and almost kills a popular myth; Lois teaches Meg how to let loose at Spring Break.
The Griffins, forced into the witness protection program, move to a backwoods southern town.
Peter discovers he has a black ancestor; Stewie tries to learn cheerleaders' power to entrance.
Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.
Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.