After forgetting that they signed up Louise for a soccer league, the Belchers must help her prepare to play in the season's last game. Linda and Gene seize the opportunity to turn the restaurant into a piano bar.
Gene gets invited to his first sleepover and is nervous about it, and when things don't go as planned, he realizes he had a right to be. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda record themselves while sleeping to prove which of them snores more.
Bob scores a temporary gig as a cook at an "underdog" frat house and discovers that he fits right in! Hijinks ensue as Bob and the rest of the fraternity brothers find themselves in the middle of a collegiate prank war that involves the house's most famous alumnus, Dr. Yap. Meanwhile, the kids are on a mission to invade the frat house and get in on the action.
Determined to have a perfect Thanksgiving, Bob meticulously prepares the family turkey. But, to his horror, he finds that someone then dumps the turkey in the toilet in an act of Thanksgiving sabotage.
In an attempt to redeem a failed talent show performance from her past, Linda reunites with her former bandmates from the Ta-Ta's to perform at their high school reunion. At the event, a former female classmate attempts to impress Bob, her high school crush, who, in turn, becomes very self-conscious about the unwanted attention.
To Tina's delight, Bob becomes the substitute "Home Ec" teacher at her school and ends up creating a full-scale restaurant in the classroom. However, her excitement is short-lived as Bob's position causes father/daughter friction. But when Gene and Louise go to work for Bob's "school" restaurant, Linda must fend for herself at the family's other restaurant (aka Bob's Burgers).
After Linda accidentally kills the family tree, the Belchers must go out on Christmas day to find a new one. But when Bob cuts off a giant candy cane truck, they are forced to outrun the madman driver and spend the entire holiday together in the car. Back at the Belcher home, Bob's friend, Teddy, accidentally gets stuck in the kids' Santa trap.
When Linda realizes that Louise has never had a sleepover, she throws her a surprise slumber party, much to Louise's chagrin. After Louise's repeated attempts to escape are thwarted, she decides to sabotage the party by eliminating the girls one by one. But she may have met her match in Jessica.
Bob and Linda visit the school and learn that their kids' essays about their fantasy version of Wagstaff are "too creative" and "offensive." Eugene transforms the school into a "Fart School for the Gifted"; Tina, to her delight, depicts a world where she is romanced by countless zombie teenage boys; and Louise creates a school where she takes down a robotic Mr. Frond from the future.
Tina isn't invited to her classmate Tammy's Bat Mitzvah, but ends up at the party anyway, because Bob and the family were hired to cater. Despite the invite snub, Tina is excited to scope out the BFOS (boys from other schools). Things go awry and Louise and Tammy end up missing, so, to her total delight, Tina is left center stage.
When Bob and Linda leave town for a romantic getaway (at a Burger Convention), they ask Teddy to babysit Tina, Gene and Louise. While the parents are away, Teddy is eager to earn the coveted title of "Uncle Teddy" and does so by putting Tina's crush in his rightful place after discovering that he was just using her for - gasp - free burgers! Hijinks ensue.
The Belchers take a trip on a train, and to their dismay, Louise, Gene and Tina are seated in a separate train car. Never one to follow the rules, Louise ropes the children into helping her on her mission to steal the vast chocolate supply from the restaurant car! Meanwhile, Bob and Linda indulge in some wine tasting and have a "taste-off" with a snobby couple.