The Griffin's are forced to flee their hometown of Quahog after Peter's offensive newspaper comics spark uproar amongst the local townspeople. Driving through the night, the Griffin's arrive in a small suburban town called "Springfield".
With Peter's urging, Joe publishes his first children's book; but his lack of stage presence prompts Joe's publisher to ask Peter to become the face of the book.
When Meg asks Peter for a check for her upcoming field trip, he finally notices that his "checkbook" is just a blank pad of paper. Lois agrees to take Peter to the bank where they discover that Peter's first name is really "Justin".
When Stewie complains that his tricycle has been stolen, Peter and his friends are spurred into action. Peter finds the kid responsible, and the success leads the group to start a detective agency for kids.
During their second honeymoon, Peter and Lois stumble upon a horror too great to bear: Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ 2.
Chris falls for his new substitute teacher (who wants him to kill her husband), while Brian tries to get through to a bunch of school rejects.
After Quagmire overcomes his rampant lust and saves a woman's life, Peter is suddenly struck with a burning desire to be remembered. How to do it? Eat the most nickels of anyone in the world--which has the unfortunate side effect of rendering him blind.
Brian gets an urge to have sex, and finally chases down the champion greyhound owned by Peter's rich and snooty father-in-law.
After Joe fails to make an arrest because of his physical limitations, Peter helps him rebuild his self-esteem by talking him into entering the decathlon at the "Special People's Games."
Stewie attempts a career in show business; Meg dates a nudist.
Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.
After a visit from a Jewish man, Peter tries to convert Chris.