Roger turns his attention to Steve's friend Snot who teaches him about Hanukkah, prompting him to convert to Judaism. Roger then decides to make Hanukkah more popular than Christmas by stealing Santa's powers, and becoming Schmanta Claus.
Stan finds an outlet for his boring stories while teaching young CIA cadets. Klaus becomes a hype man for a rapper.
Stan gets in over his head when he runs for mayor.
Stan avoids giving Steve "the talk" by joining a chastity group. The Smiths build a waterslide in the backyard.
Roger becomes worried about outliving the family. Klaus opens a convenience store in the attic.
Steve and Roger restart their career as a twin brother acting duo. The family becomes addicted to a novelty gift shop.
Steve goes to boarding school not realizing it's an all-girls school and a parade of sitcom characters arrive to take his place at home.
Francine becomes obsessed with him security after a break in. Steve tries Hayley's laidback approach to school work.
Hayley feels left behind after Jeff becomes a star dog racing coach. Steve takes advantage of an empty house.
While trying to rekindle their marriage, Stan and Francine get trapped on a hot air balloon. The rest of the family wins a jingle writing contest.
Francine reconnects with her birth family when she starts craving the experience of having a big family. Stan becomes a Picker based on his obsession with American Pickers.
While having trouble communicating, Stan and Hayley team up to stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Bazooka Sharks arena. Roger pretends to be an escort.
Stan serves as jury foreman for the trial of one of Roger's personae, and he is hell-bent on making sure the jury finds him guilty.
When Roger releases lethal gas into the Smith residence, the family moves into a hotel while the fumes clear.
Stan and Francine, on the hunt for new friends, hit it off with a younger married couple, Tom and Cami.
Stan takes an acting class taught by Roger after he blows an undercover assignment. Stan then uses his newfound acting skills to steal a part in a local play from Roger. Roger, down but not out, takes out the play's female lead and gets her part. Now it's opening night and Stan and Roger take to the stage to see who is the better actor. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends plan a sleepover.
Roger moves out of the house when he finds out that Stan only let him live there because Roger had saved his life years ago at Area 51.
Stan resorts to extreme and cruel measures to humiliate Steve and maintain his alpha-male status in the house, and Hayley and Jeff turn to Principal Lewis for marriage counseling.
Overlooked for promotion for twenty years, Stan decides to woo the Senator who supervises the CIA task force. Stan makes Steve go to the same private academy as the Senator’s daughter, but Steve ditches school and Roger takes his place.
When Steve has trouble crossing over into the "cool kids" social circle, Klaus and Roger place their bets to see how quickly Roger can make him cool.
The Smiths prepare for the arrival of Stan's half-brother's family for Thanksgiving.