Hayley takes Roger with her to a meditation center and he quickly takes over, becoming one of the world's leading authorities on meditation. Stan and Steve become apprentices as they are taught the art of making sushi.
Stan is embarrassed when a painting of Francine's genitals, done by a famous artist, is unveiled at the museum. Steve turns to helping people after masturbation is ruined by his mom's portrait.
Stan is upset at the idea of becoming a grandfather after Hayley and Jeff announce they're trying to have a baby. Steve and Klaus join a drug gang after Steve decides to take being an uncle extra seriously.
While having trouble communicating, Stan and Hayley team up to stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Bazooka Sharks arena. Roger pretends to be an escort.
Roger and Klaus start having a secret affair after they accidentally end up on an online date together. Steve tries to catch Hayley's pink eye to get out of doing a fitness test at school.
Stan and Steve open up their own father-son garbage business after Stan inherits his father's old truck. Roger finds Hayley is a natural at bumper pool and brings her to play with the best player in town.
Roger becomes a marionette and injures other students to help Steve win the school talent show. Stan, Hayley and Klaus start their own local honey business.
When Stan discovers a salt mine in the backyard, the Morton Salt Company wants to buy it. It turns out Steve is the rightful owner of the land and he faces pressure from the family to sell.
Stan brings President Garfield back to life in order to teach Hayley about history. Steve writes for the school newspaper.
When Bullock is upset that somebody did not bring a gift to the CIA Secret Santa party, Stan goes on a mission to find out who it was. Meanwhile, Steve poses as the good guy boyfriend of several female classmates.
Stan and Steve start bowling together to have more quality time and Steve gets discovered for his bowling talent. Klaus holds a contest to test whether Roger or Hayley have the worse attention span.
In order to avoid being sent on a suicide mission, Stan learns how to become a DJ to beat Bullock in a DJ Battle. Jeff takes up drinking psychedelic teas and Roger helps him build an imaginary musical instrument.
When the CIA is forced to make cutbacks and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a College Campus Security Guard. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast in order to boost the family's income.
When Francine's sister Gwen comes to town, Hayley suspects she is up to no good. Meanwhile, Stan teaches Steve the art of hugging Aunt Gwen and Klaus shadows Roger's dramatic comments.
When Steve insults Francine, she refuses to cook for him and he becomes a successful internet chef, appearing on a popular morning show. Meanwhile, Stan thinks he can make people invisible by snapping his fingers.
Hayley gets a job and starts to fall for a co-worker. Meanwhile, Stan chauffers Steve and Francine to a Mother-Son dance. Hayley is broke and gets an office job where she meets a cute co-worker named Ax. Klaus and Roger encourage her to have sex with Ax on an office retreat. Hayley is all for it until she finds out Ax is a married man. Hayley backs out when she sees he has a tattoo of Roger. Back at home, Stan steals Francine from Steve at the school dance and tries to make it up to him by letting them dance at home.
When Stan wishes he could have Principal Lewis' carefree, single life, his wish comes true! Meanwhile, in his wish world, Principal Lewis has Stan's family.
While on vacation in Los Angeles, Stan joins the world of old Hollywood.
Hayley is dying to be on a roller derby team, but they will only let her play if her “sister” Steve will play too. Meanwhile, a magical carpenter visits Stan and Francine and Roger runs the roller rink.
When Stan becomes Bullock's new "Number One," Francine, much to her dismay, becomes Bullock's new babysitter. Francine soon gets fed up with caring for Avery Jr. and convinces Stan to rescue Bullock's wife who is being held by terrorists. Stan reunites Bullock with his wife Miriam, but is then enlisted by Bullock into taking care of Bullock's mistress, Coco. Now Stan must find a way to balance a romantic weekend with Francine while taking care of a needy Coco.