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Leon and the Amputeens

Leon felt immune to trends, so it surprised him when he cut off his foot. For weeks Leon had seen the videos of euphoric teenagers taking blades to their ankles. Stumpin’, they called it. Though it had been years since Leon felt anything remotely cheerful, he dismissed dismemberment as a fad. “Not for me,” Leon huffed.

Everything changed one night when Leon, deep in despair, started eyeing the flesh above his right sock. Without a moment’s thought, Leon fetched a butcher’s knife, sat on the kitchen floor, inhaled sharply, and began sawing away. The sock filled with oozing warmth as the blade made quick work of the sinew before reaching bone. Cutting and chipping in agony, the bone finally splintered and broke, and soon Leon’s right foot met the floor with a satisfying thump. Leon smiled wider than he had in decades though his bliss would be short-lived.

The teens had moved on. They were back to drinking bleach. Nobody hacked off feet anymore.

This might have been an error, Leon would think, wrapping his scab of an ankle.

Though he never voiced regret, Leon quietly adjusted by adopting a cane and swearing off social media forever.