Witch sister'll win the Miss Heartshe crown: Hurshe or Hambrosia? Pageant judge Hurlan will try dying... or die trying!

Hambrosia teaches Doc that death is a gift, but Doc exchanges it for a thinly veiled metaphor concerning the complexities of the abortion debate.

Sometimes you just gotta get away from it all, in order to destroy the entirety of civilization.

The mind is a terrible thing. Viva Cerebroheims!

Death plays doorbell ditch in Doc's crotch. Hurshe answers the ding dong.

After many lonely years, Hurlan finally gets to feel the cold touch of a mommy.

Hurlan's tangled heart gets tied up in more twists than a bag of pretzel sticks when he hears the international grunt of love.

The whole of Heartshe gets bitten in the dog by the hot wolf of American sexceptionalism.

A mysterious stranger shows Heartshe, the rock hard way, that humanity is a celestial continuum.

When a non-meddling non-reporter doesn't stick his nose where it doesn't belong, the holler goes on HIGH ALERT!