Hank tries to raise money to save the middle school's softball team by pitting the Zephyrs against a Harlem Globetrotters-like team. But complications ensue when Hank makes the mistake of trying to win the game.
Cotton assists with Peggy's rehabilitation as he seeks a war hero's grave.
Bill is granted the opportunity of a lifetime after his old high school football touchdown record is shattered.
Hank volunteers to teach Bobby's shop class and becomes the most popular substitute teacher at school. Meanwhile, Peggy does her utmost to win the Substitute Teacher of the Year award.
While Minh and Kahn are in Hawaii, Connie experiences her first period...causing Hank enormous embarrassment.
After winning an Alamo beer contest, Hank travels to the Superdome for a chance to win a large cash prize; Bill visits his lusty relatives at a Louisiana chateau.
Bobby befriends a wild raccoon that may or may not have infected Ladybird and Dale with rabies.
Peggy authors one of Bobby's English papers, only to have a rival substitute teacher uncover the deception; Bill displays an enormous American flag on his property.
Bobby's passion for roping bulls turns into a quest to become a rodeo clown.
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