Peggy pretends to be a nun in order to land a permanent teaching position.

Bill gets drunk and steals a military tank after learning he was used as a guinea pig in a secret Army experiment.

Bobby and Joseph are hurt when their dads show more interest in one another's son than in their own. Dale is convinced that Joseph's real father is an alien.

Hank is invited to join an exclusive all-Asian country club, but discovers he's only being courted because he's white.

Peggy gets a job with Alamo Beer, and learns the company is knowingly selling tainted beer.

Peggy and Luanne are lured into a cult; Hank is assigned to destroy Mr. Strickland's emus.

When Nancy asks Hank to invite Dale's estranged father, Bug, to their second wedding, Hank discovers that, unbeknownst to his family, Bug is gay.

When Hank has a dream about he and Nancy grilling hamburgers in the nude, Peggy tries to figure out a way to win her husband back.

Boomhauer slides into depression when he's dumped by the woman he loves.