Defending the right to live a pathetic, hateful existence in a place that no one really likes.
Ace programmer and master jerk Ken Gemberling gets sucked into the internet and caught up in a massive conspiracy.
Gemberling must slay a great beast to prove that he truly is the Chosen One, destined to save the Internet. But all is not as it seems when ghosts from his past come back to haunt him. Also, there are cupcakes.
Gemberling and his traveling companions find themselves trapped in a house surrounded by vicious cyber-zombies. But the horror outside can't compare to the one inside... the ruthless bounty hunter, Chains!
Gemberling hunts for his old friends Bit and Byte, but ends up making some unlikely new ones: Hardrive and the Insult-O-Bot! They take to the air, pursued by a bloodthirsty Chains.
Gemberling and Chains wander the internet forests, on the brink of starvation. When they decide to stop for the night, odd truths are revealed around the campfire.
Gemberling must train with the ancient master, Linux. Chains must carry out a mission of his own. Could he be a chosen one too?
Gemberling and Chains must cross the great Internet Ocean with the help of the love-crazy sea captain, Skrales.
Gemberling and Chains come to a town, savaged by the local warlord, Sata Raid. They must help the people regain their former strength, and Gemberling shares a nightcap with an attractive townswoman... after dark.
Gemberling and Chains must negotiate their way through a maze of puzzles and tricks... all the while, enduring the Maze Master's flamboyant songs.
Gemberling's quest reaches a thrilling culmination as old foes, friends, and demons come back to face the Chosen One.
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