A therapist tells Brian his carpet-wetting is the result of his repressed feelings for Lois.
Meg writes an unflattering newspaper article on Mayor Adam West, which Peter discovers before press time and replaces with an article claiming that actor Luke Perry is gay. Peter then tries to seduce Perry to prove the validity of the article.
An over-zealous Lois loses a young piano student she chloroforms in order to force-train the girl to win the State Piano Competition, but then discovers that Peter, when inebriated, is a piano-playing genius.
Chris teaches Peter the true meaning of penis envy; after suffering outrageous humiliations, Meg gets revenge on the popular crowd.
After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.
Brian receives a call from his son, Dylan Flannigan, who wants to reconnect with him. At first, Brian is hesitant to meet up, but changes his tune when he discovers Dylan is the star of a new television show.
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