Absence makes the Romo look better.
Carl expects more of the same from Rex Ryan (aka Ashley).
All fingers point to the G-Men over the F-Men.
Carl breaks the code behind the Eagles' broken offense.
Niner's fans might not want to hear the ugly truth.
Bad news for Raiders and fanny pack enthusiasts.
Carl is not immune to the pleasure of crapping on Florida.
Carl sees himself in these Buffalo Bills (and likes what he sees.)
Carl is quite fond of that Gurley man.
Great news for fans of cloning and the Carolina Panthers.
Carl finds Peyton Manning's injury both hard to overcome and pronounce.
Thanksgiving is a time of gratitude, turkey, and the Lions stinking it up on national television.
Carl provides keen insight on middle-aged quarterbacks and Guns 'N' Roses most bloated album.
Hey, Johnny Manziel . . . Carl understands.
Sorry, Cam, but you won't feel like dancing against the Giants.
Fret not, Los Angeles. Carl already knows the name (and record) of your future NFL team.
When naming your team, try harder than the Houston Texans.
Carl describes the characteristics of Peyton Manning's forehead and how they in no way favor the Denver Broncos.
Cam Newton might be terrible at naming babies, but he can sure play.
Carl foresees very little dabbing in Cam Newton's near future.
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