When Dottie Minerva comes down with a bad case of mono, Tina gets her shot as soloist of the Hormone-iums. But as she rehearses for the big assembly, Tina realizes that her role in the play could ruin her social status. Meanwhile, Linda strikes gold with a business plan that she thinks could make the Belchers rich.
Can't Buy Me Math
Tina teams up with Darryl to win the Cupid's Couple contest at the school dance. Meanwhile, Linda plans a full week of ambitious Valentine's Day activities for her and Bob.
The Millie-Churian Candidate
Tina and Louise volunteer to run Jimmy Junior's class president campaign in order to keep Millie from winning, and ruining the school. Meanwhile, Bob becomes obsessed with a knife after talking himself into buying it for $300.
The Gayle Tales
Linda's sister, Gayle, arrives at the restaurant in tears because her date cancelled on her and she had tickets to Yarnival. Desperate to get out of the house after being grounded, the kids compete to be Aunt Gayle's date via an essay contest.
Adventures in Chinchilla-Sitting
Bob and Linda head out on the town for a date but to Linda's dismay, Bob's idea of romance proves trivial. Meanwhile, a wild chinchilla chase ensues after the school pet that Louis was charged with watching escapes out the front door.
The Runway Club
The kids are sentenced to Saturday detention and will do anything it takes to leave early so they can attend the Cotton Candy Festival. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda believe that they are being scammed by a young girl at the restaurant.
Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins
Bob inherits a storage unit, and the whole family imagines it's filled with treasures. Instead, they find a man named Chet living inside. Linda, feeling the holiday spirit, persuades Bob to invite Chet to stay at the restaurant. It's discovered that this stranger, who claims he was once a mannequin, has a gift for intricate and living window displays. With the restaurant decked out in holiday cheer, the Christmas spirit is in the air.