Bob notices that he has started to lose his hair, his mustache hair. In a wave of nostalgia, Linda reminisces about Bob's mustache and how it made her fall for him years ago. Meanwhile, the kids create their own versions of what would have happened had Linda not fallen for Bob and his mustache.
The Land Ship
The upcoming Land Ship parade could mean increased business for Bob, until he learns that two port-o-potties will be placed in front of the restaurant. Meanwhile, Tina learns from her friends that she's boring, so she joins up with Jordan who has been vandalizing the school with graffiti. But when Jordan wants to spray graffiti on the Land Ship, Tina must decide between ruining the parade and disappointing her new crush.
The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
After Gene gets suckered into dating Courtney, his first girlfriend ever, the entire family wants him to break up with her when they decide she's totally annoying. But when Gene finally musters up the courage to end things, he falters after discovering that Courtney's father writes jingles and could possibly launch his music career.
Bob Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins
Bob inherits a storage unit, and the whole family imagines it's filled with treasures. Instead, they find a man named Chet living inside. Linda, feeling the holiday spirit, persuades Bob to invite Chet to stay at the restaurant. It's discovered that this stranger, who claims he was once a mannequin, has a gift for intricate and living window displays. With the restaurant decked out in holiday cheer, the Christmas spirit is in the air.
Mother Daughter Laser Razor
Linda frets that Louise doesn't like her and, to Louise's chagrin, forces her to attend a Mother-Daughter seminar to beef up their relationship. Meanwhile, with Linda gone, Tina asks Bob to indulge in his feminine side and teach her to shave her legs.
Hugo, the loathsome health inspector who torments Bob, quits his job to become a nudist after discovering the town's new nude beach. His replacement, Tommy, seems nice enough until he blackmails the Belchers into letting him perform his terrible music at the restaurant, which drives all the customers away. Unable to tolerate it anymore, Bob decides upon the lesser of two evils and braves the nude beach (and bares... well, everything else) to find Hugo and bring him back.
My Fuzzy Valentine
When a heart-shaped pancake simply doesn't cut it, the kids convince Bob to let them skip school in order to help him find a Valentine's Day gift that will "wow" Linda. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the romantic holiday, Linda sets up a speed-dating event at the restaurant that doesn't go exactly as planned.
Linda thinks Bob doesn't appreciate her and quits the restaurant to work at a grocery store. In her absence, Bob tries - and fails - to run the place on his own and the kids are stuck in the middle of the marital mayhem. Meanwhile, things get romantic for Tina when she meets her potential soul mate while restocking the milk fridge.
O.T. The Outside Toilet
In an homage to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Gene finds an expensive talking toilet and befriends it. Together with Louise and Tina, the Belcher kids help the toilet hide from the evil toilet hunter.
Sparks fly when Louise is determined to take down her Thomas Edison-obsessed science teacher by recreating a famous experiment where Thomas Edison (played by Gene) electrocutes an elephant named Topsy (played by Tina).