All Bob's burgers are made from pure, 99%er ground beef.
With a long weekend approaching, Linda sees an opportunity to capitalize on the tourist traffic by turning their home into a bed and breakfast. As usual, she goes overboard and gets a little crazy when her efforts aren't appreciated.
When Bob and Gene start watching Spaghetti Western films, they wind up alienating Louise. As Gene takes pointers from the films on how to deal with his archrival at school, Tina takes out her aggression and fights her way through a conflict-resolution program.
Bob and his family are forced to spend the weekend at Mort the Mortician's while the restaurant is being eradicated of toxic mold. Linda and Bob double-date with Mort and a female mortician he meets on-line, while Tina babysits Gene and Louise at the crematorium.
Bob's hero, a washed-up professional baseball player named Torpedo Jones, starts pitching for the local minor league team. Torpedo befriends the Belcher's, and Bob is ecstatic until he finds out about the dark underbelly of baseball.
Tina goes undercover to find the mole who is giving away their cookie secrets. Tired of the kids counting her gray hairs, Linda goes blonde. When she starts making dumb mistakes at work, Bob worries being blonde has gone to her head!
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