Bob notices that he has started to lose his hair, his mustache hair. In a wave of nostalgia, Linda reminisces about Bob's mustache and how it made her fall for him years ago. Meanwhile, the kids create their own versions of what would have happened had Linda not fallen for Bob and his mustache.
The Land Ship
The upcoming Land Ship parade could mean increased business for Bob, until he learns that two port-o-potties will be placed in front of the restaurant. Meanwhile, Tina learns from her friends that she's boring, so she joins up with Jordan who has been vandalizing the school with graffiti. But when Jordan wants to spray graffiti on the Land Ship, Tina must decide between ruining the parade and disappointing her new crush.
Broadcast Wagstaff School News
There is a "Mad Pooper" running wild at the Belcher children's middle school and Tina finds herself on a mission to get to the "bottom" of the situation.
My Fuzzy Valentine
When a heart-shaped pancake simply doesn't cut it, the kids convince Bob to let them skip school in order to help him find a Valentine's Day gift that will "wow" Linda. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the romantic holiday, Linda sets up a speed-dating event at the restaurant that doesn't go exactly as planned.
Linda thinks Bob doesn't appreciate her and quits the restaurant to work at a grocery store. In her absence, Bob tries - and fails - to run the place on his own and the kids are stuck in the middle of the marital mayhem. Meanwhile, things get romantic for Tina when she meets her potential soul mate while restocking the milk fridge.
O.T. The Outside Toilet
In an homage to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Gene finds an expensive talking toilet and befriends it. Together with Louise and Tina, the Belcher kids help the toilet hide from the evil toilet hunter.
Two For Tina
Jimmy Jr. is threatened when Tina starts dating a ballet dancer named Josh, and the two boys get into an epic dance-off for her heart.
It Snakes a Village
The Belcher family road-trips down to Florida to visit Linda's parents who live in a senior home that - to Linda's complete horror - is full of senior swingers! Plus, to keep themselves entertained, Tina, Gene and Louise go on a hunt for a mysterious python that allegedly ate one of the residents' dogs.
After the family car breaks down and ruins their plans for a movie night out, the Belchers find themselves competing on the TV game show "Family Fracas!" To the dismay of the program's host, they keep winning and coming back each night - that is, until their lucky streak comes to a suspicious end.
The Kids Run the Restaurant
After Bob cuts his finger and faints at the sight of his own blood, Linda brings him to the hospital and leaves the kids home alone. Not ones to waste a golden opportunity, Tina, Gene and Louise transform the basement of the restaurant into a makeshift casino. But they get more than they gamble for when landlord Mr. Fischoeder stops by and catches them in action.