Bob notices that he has started to lose his hair, his mustache hair. In a wave of nostalgia, Linda reminisces about Bob's mustache and how it made her fall for him years ago. Meanwhile, the kids create their own versions of what would have happened had Linda not fallen for Bob and his mustache.
The Land Ship
The upcoming Land Ship parade could mean increased business for Bob, until he learns that two port-o-potties will be placed in front of the restaurant. Meanwhile, Tina learns from her friends that she's boring, so she joins up with Jordan who has been vandalizing the school with graffiti. But when Jordan wants to spray graffiti on the Land Ship, Tina must decide between ruining the parade and disappointing her new crush.
The Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her Lover
When Bob throws a dinner party to bond with his new friend, Gayle uses the opportunity to introduce the family to her new love interest. Unbeknownst to Gayle, Louise has a long standing feud with her new boyfriend and will stop at nothing to break them apart. Calamity ensues as Bob attempts to impress his new buddy and the kids take action.
The Gene & Courtney Show
Gene and Courtney get their big break when they are asked to be the new hosts of the morning announcements, but their romantic history threatens to get in the way. Meanwhile, Tina's attempt to play Cupid goes tragically awry when she volunteers to spearhead the Valentine's Day carnation fundraiser.
Sexy Dance Healing
After Bob slips on the sidewalk, he is forced to take legal action in order to pay for surgery. In a turn of events, Bob finds himself under the care of Jairo, who promises to help him heal without a doctor. Meanwhile, the kids create a fake law firm to settle their personal disputes.
During family TV night an ad for the Sofa Queen comes on and Louise takes the opportunity to lobby for a new couch. The Belchers take sides with Linda, gathering support for keeping their lumpy, smelly, moist couch, because off all the memories it holds. When a family vote goes against her, Louise takes matters into her own hands.
Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
When Gene's musical doesn't get picked for the school's fall performance, he stages an underground show with Louise. Wagstaff Middle School families feud when they learn Eugene planned his show on the same night as Courtney's musical.
Dawn of the Peck
While Bob is boycotting the holiday, Linda and the kids spend Thanksgiving at the first annual Fischoeder Turk-tacular Turkey Town Festival. However, a wild bird attack leads to total mayhem.
Can't Buy Me Math
Tina teams up with Darryl to win the Cupid's Couple contest at the school dance. Meanwhile, Linda plans a full week of ambitious Valentine's Day activities for her and Bob.
Hawk & Chick
Bob and Louise are thrilled when they meet Hawk, star of their favorite 70's samurai vs. monster movies. When they find out Hawk is estranged from his daughter, who starred as Chick in his movies, they engineer a Hawk and Chick reunion.
My Fuzzy Valentine
When a heart-shaped pancake simply doesn't cut it, the kids convince Bob to let them skip school in order to help him find a Valentine's Day gift that will "wow" Linda. Meanwhile, in the spirit of the romantic holiday, Linda sets up a speed-dating event at the restaurant that doesn't go exactly as planned.