Portrait of Francine's Genitals
Stan is embarrassed when a painting of Francine's genitals, done by a famous artist, is unveiled at the museum. Steve turns to helping people after masturbation is ruined by his mom's portrait.
Stan is upset at the idea of becoming a grandfather after Hayley and Jeff announce they're trying to have a baby. Steve and Klaus join a drug gang after Steve decides to take being an uncle extra seriously.
Whole Slotta Love
Francine becomes less attracted to Stan when he gets involved with slot car racing. Roger becomes a stewardess to perform comedy routines on the plane but is upset when another stewardess is funnier than him.
Steve becomes the town pariah after he convinces the star quarterback of the arena football team to stop playing. Roger forces Hayley to become a cab driver to pay him back for her gambling debts.
The Long Bomb
While having trouble communicating, Stan and Hayley team up to stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Bazooka Sharks arena. Roger pretends to be an escort.
Roger and Klaus start having a secret affair after they accidentally end up on an online date together. Steve tries to catch Hayley's pink eye to get out of doing a fitness test at school.
Stan and Steve open up their own father-son garbage business after Stan inherits his father's old truck. Roger finds Hayley is a natural at bumper pool and brings her to play with the best player in town.
The Talented Mr. Dingleberry
Roger becomes a marionette and injures other students to help Steve win the school talent show. Stan, Hayley and Klaus start their own local honey business.
An homage to "Goodfellas." In order to be taken more seriously and to be a "somebody", Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all the power.
Dope and Faith
Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but the friend turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard, but the plan backfires.
Big Trouble In Little Langley
Francine's Chinese, adoptive parents drop in. Stan can't stand them and tries to find Francine's real parents. When it becomes obvious they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle, Stan makes a detour and never introduces them to Francine. He has a new found appreciation of his in-laws.
Stan, unhappy with the decisions Hayley is making for herself, decides to set her up with a proper husband. He gets her to go along by using her "activation word" which was ingrained in her.
When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. When the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights.
Francine fakes Roger's kidnapping so she can prove to Roger that Stan still cares about him. So why won't Stan pay his ransom?
A James Bond spoof. Stan plays a 007-type CIA agent who must stop Tearjerker (Roger) from killing millions. Tearjerker, the owner of a spa, abducts celebrities and swaps them out for celebrity robots and programs them to make horrible movies. Tearjerker's plan is for the celebs to make horrible movies so that his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold," the saddest movie ever, will be viewed by millions. Stan, in James Bond fashion, lures Sexpun (Francine) into help him stop Tearjerker's plan.
When Stan's mom, Betty, gets dumped by a boyfriend for the umpteenth time, she comes running to Stan for support.
Francine consoles her friend Julie because her open and loving husband has gone missing. After talking to Julie, Francine wishes Stan would share more with her. The two of them visit Roger for some couples' therapy. After a few sessions, Stan becomes an open book and shares generously with Francine. One of the secrets he reveals is that he was forced by the CIA to kill Julie's husband. Francine struggles to keep this secret safe, despite Stan's growing relationship with Julie.