Portrait of Francine's Genitals
Stan is embarrassed when a painting of Francine's genitals, done by a famous artist, is unveiled at the museum. Steve turns to helping people after masturbation is ruined by his mom's portrait.
Stan is upset at the idea of becoming a grandfather after Hayley and Jeff announce they're trying to have a baby. Steve and Klaus join a drug gang after Steve decides to take being an uncle extra seriously.
Whole Slotta Love
Francine becomes less attracted to Stan when he gets involved with slot car racing. Roger becomes a stewardess to perform comedy routines on the plane but is upset when another stewardess is funnier than him.
Francine steals from the CIA and pretends to be a sexy supervillain to incite Stan to be more seductive. Roger tricks Hayley and Steve into trapping Jay Leno so he can take revenge on him.
The Long Bomb
While having trouble communicating, Stan and Hayley team up to stop a terrorist plot to blow up the Bazooka Sharks arena. Roger pretends to be an escort.
Roger and Klaus start having a secret affair after they accidentally end up on an online date together. Steve tries to catch Hayley's pink eye to get out of doing a fitness test at school.
Stan and Steve open up their own father-son garbage business after Stan inherits his father's old truck. Roger finds Hayley is a natural at bumper pool and brings her to play with the best player in town.
The Talented Mr. Dingleberry
Roger becomes a marionette and injures other students to help Steve win the school talent show. Stan, Hayley and Klaus start their own local honey business.
An homage to "Goodfellas." In order to be taken more seriously and to be a "somebody", Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all the power.
Dope and Faith
Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but the friend turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard, but the plan backfires.
Big Trouble In Little Langley
Francine's Chinese, adoptive parents drop in. Stan can't stand them and tries to find Francine's real parents. When it becomes obvious they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle, Stan makes a detour and never introduces them to Francine. He has a new found appreciation of his in-laws.
At a poker game with Roger and a couple of work friends, Stan reveals that he has never actually killed anyone. He was taunted so badly by the first enemy spy he was supposed to kill, that he couldn't do it.
When Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. When the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights.
Francine fakes Roger's kidnapping so she can prove to Roger that Stan still cares about him. So why won't Stan pay his ransom?
A James Bond spoof. Stan plays a 007-type CIA agent who must stop Tearjerker (Roger) from killing millions. Tearjerker, the owner of a spa, abducts celebrities and swaps them out for celebrity robots and programs them to make horrible movies. Tearjerker's plan is for the celebs to make horrible movies so that his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold," the saddest movie ever, will be viewed by millions. Stan, in James Bond fashion, lures Sexpun (Francine) into help him stop Tearjerker's plan.