Adult Swim: Celeb-Nerdy with Penthouse Pet Ryan Keely

If celebrities have one edge over regular folks like us, it's that they are -- by definition -- really, really famous. And no, burping the entire alphabet backwards to a cop who pulled you over doesn't make you famous, it just makes you kinda cool and also, side note, we wanna hang out with you and smell your sauerkraut breath as we drift off to sleep. But that's a whole other story.

Anyway, in Celeb-Nerdy, we ask incredibly famous and amazingly interesting celebrities to peel back their layers of cool and reveal the nerds lurking beneath. In this edition: Penthouse Pet Ryan Keely exposes her kink for intensely gory comic books. She also explores why nerds are afraid to make out with her -- dear reader, are you brave enough to press on and read? Steel yourself!

The Horror! Comic Books the Government Didn't Want You to Read!

So you like gory comics, huh?

Well, I like all sorts of comics, but my tastes do tend to run towards the graphic.

When did you notice that you had this inclination?

I'm not particularly into superhero comics. I really like what DC is doing with the relaunch of The New 52. I think they finally nailed Catwoman for the first time. She's such a fetish-y character, and it's nice that she's actually being drawn in a sexualized, fetish-y way. She's been dressed like a dominatrix since, what, the '50s? It's time that they finally embraced that and provided her in a context that's a little more adult, because I think that character is intrinsically more adult. If you asked me six months ago whether I even liked superhero comics, I would have said, "Yeah, if you consider superhero comics like Irredeemable or The Boys."

“I think everyone likes graphic depictions of sex and violence.”

When you say "graphic," what specifically do you mean? Just blood and guts, or other things as well?

Well, if you looked at my list of favorite comics, it's got, like, Transmetropolitan, which is graphic both sexually and violence-wise. I'm also loving Scalped right now, I think it's one of the best new comics out there. [Laughs.] The things that I like -- yeah, I like gore and violence. [Laughs.] I'm a big fan of Darick Robertson because of how good he is at drawing things that are filthy and wrong in the best ways.

Do you get a different charge out of graphic depiction of sex and violence when it's drawn in a comic as opposed to, say, on TV or movies?

I think everyone likes graphic depictions of sex and violence. Well, not everyone, but it speaks to our baser needs. Human beings by nature are very sexual and violent. [Laughs.] I think it's very natural that I would enjoy that.

I really like the art side of comic books, and that comes from a passion I have for art. I like violence in my art because I also like Francis Bacon. [Laughs.] There is something to be said about storytelling with visual art. It's very special and a very specific way to tell a story. When people always say they like the book more than the movie, that's because when they read the book they can imagine a character looks however they think they should look. Those characters exist only in their imagination and in a way that's very specific to them. When they don't like the movie, they're being told that this actor is exactly who this character is.

The thing about comic books is it's a way that the artist and the writer can convey a story and give you a really strong idea of what that character looks like to them, and because it isn't a movie, it's a longer form and you still get to fill in the gaps with your own imagination. I think it's a very nice blend of the two. People are still free with comic books to color in the characters a bit with their own minds.

Can you remember a time you were outraged by a movie based on a comic you really loved?

My biggest issue of all time is Aeon Flux. I really want to bone Charlize Theron. If you want to talk about, like, my female celebrity crush? Definitely Charlize Theron. And then I go and see Aeon Flux and I was -- a) it's not the costume, b) that's not Trevor, and c) where is all my weird, kinky S&M stuff? Because that's all in the animation… and the amazing score, which was another element of the storytelling in that particular world. [Laughs.]

“I really like artists that go above and beyond and make interesting complex female characters.”

Have there been any comics that were just too violent or too sexualized for you to make your way through it? Anything that turned you off that you thought you'd like?

No. I'm salacious. [Laughs.] I'm really, really, really enjoying Crossed right now. I really like post-apocalyptic or dystopian futures in my comic books. I like sci-fi. And I'm really enjoying Crossed right now, particularly this new trade that just came out called Family Values. It's so f***ed up! I generally find that the more f***ed up things are, the more I tend to enjoy them.

The things I don't tend to like are when there's not a lot of interesting female characters. That's why I haven't read Sandman. I love that writer but there's not a lot of compelling female characters. I mean, in Preacher, Tulip is amazing. She's totally amazing. The Walking Dead, their female characters are complex and fascinating. They're not one-dimensional. I really like artists that go above and beyond and make interesting complex female characters. They're more than just tits and tights.

Is that because of the stereotype that guys who like comic books are afraid of girls and don't know much about them?

[Laughs.] Because they are. I try to have sex with nerds on a regular basis, and generally they run away.

I'm sorry to hear that. Do they say anything first, or do they just flee?

There's a lot of blushing involved first. [Laughs.]

What are you saying to them?

"Do you want to make out?" [Laughs.] Sometimes I… Nevermind. We'll not get into any details.

Okay, so, you said you like salacious things. What's the most mind-blowing, filthy thing you've ever read?

Honestly, "Family Values" is one of the most f***ed-up comics I've ever read this year. Lots of incest, really, really, really, really f***ed-up incest. The thing about Crossed, why it's such an amazing comic book, is it's a total reimagining of the zombie genre. People are bitten and they get infected, but they're not dead. They become these creatures that are all id. So these all-id characters have no care for anything but for f***ing and violence. That's all they do. When you get bitten, you get turned into this monster that will rape a family member, or if you're a pregnant woman you'd cut open your own belly and eat your unborn child.

“My life is so not family-friendly; my barometer is broken.”

That's pretty wrong.

Yes. There's this one panel where this woman ripped open her stomach and ate her own baby, and the baby was born of incest. It was extra-special disgusting. [Laughs.]

I was going to say, it sorta reminds me of Lost Girls, but way, way, worse than that. Have you read Lost Girls?

I own Lost Girls, I haven't gotten to it yet. I'm now flipping through my stacks. Yeah. Okay, the cleanest comic that I love is Y: The Last Man. Which is not particularly family-friendly. Maybe it is. I don't know. My life is so not family-friendly; my barometer is broken. [Laughs.]

To you, what is family-friendly?

All I know is I'm not invited to that party.

Do they blush and run away?

Yeah. [Laughs.]

Other people in your field, do they also love comics? Or do you stick out in that regard?

Honestly I think there are so many women in adult [entertainment] that are super-nerds. Like, people think I'm a huge nerd because I actually bought comic-book racks from a comic-book store to properly display my comic books. Justine Joli and I hooked up the first time because she enticed me to her house with her anime collection. [Laughs.]

We weren't cool in high school. The girls who were cool in high school are married in the suburbs with kids. We were not cool. When you grow up being a nerd, you develop a sense of self and independence.

Do you like old-school stuff like Tales From The Crypt and House Of Mystery at all?

Nope. Not at all. I was never really introduced to it. The thing is, there are so many different things to nerd out on. You can't hit them all.