Adult Swim: Celeb-Nerdy with Dave Attell

There are nerds, there are celebrities, there are centaurs, and then there are celebrity-nerds. (All centaurs are celebrities by definition, but can't be nerdy because they're freaking half-horse.) In Celeb-Nerdy, we take an inquisitive speculum to the nerdiest hobbies of Hollywood's most fabulous glitterati. In this edition, we phoned up comedian Dave Attell.

The former Insomniac host and Saturday Night Live writer-performer was also responsible for reviving the aptly titled The Gong Show With Dave Attell in 2008 -- so it makes sense that he's still fascinated by game shows and their extremely handsome hosts. These days, he hosts Dave's Old Porn on Showtime, a quasi-Mystery Science Theater 3000 for vintage porn, which debuted late last year. Admittedly, it doesn't have much to do with game shows...but has plenty to do with "coming on down".

What did you learn about game shows from doing The Gong Show?

Well, I did The Gong Show, and that was a mistake, because you can't mess with a classic. I knew that going in. I wanted to do more of the dirty, filthy acts that America was capable of -- not, like hokey, America's Got Talent acts. I was wrong, because America loves that. People love ventriloquism, juggling, dancing, and all that kinda stuff.

The Gong Show Hosted by Dave Attell

I don't personally care if the stars are dancing, whether they can dance, or how well they're dancing. That's some kind of talent we need to know in case we're ever invaded by a planet of Glee people.

There used to be game shows where people actually lost. Everybody doesn't really lose, anymore.

Why do you think people don't lose anymore?

When you look at Jeopardy! now, these people are like geniuses compared to everyone else. Especially compared to Howie Mandel's show Deal Or No Deal, where it kinda felt like a drug deal, but it wasn't. There were all these cases, you open them and hope there's money in it, and if there wasn't, you'd get shot. That would've made the show a little more interesting to me. And then the mob would burst in or maybe the Mexican drug cartel, and kill everyone.

“Apps are replacing everything. Just too many fun games you can play at home.”

I like game shows. There's a corniness to it, and it's fun to see people win money and hear their story. But people should really have to risk something. I think they were doing that for a while on MTV, where people would bring stuff in and they would smash it. That's pretty good. But now everybody is just trying to see if their old stuff is worth anything.

Whammy Collection

Why are game shows losing their popularity?

Angry Birds. It's a pretty good app. Apps are replacing everything. Just too many fun games you can play at home. But, like, on Jeopardy! when they talk to the people and find out about their lives, they're incredibly boring, and they immediately move back to the game? That's the best part of it. "So, you're a piano tuner and… what is it here? You really like German folk tunes. Okay, let's get away from this weird, awkward moment and get back to the game show." You know, because otherwise, it's just awkward, awkward.

What was the first game show you remember really latching onto?

Beat The Clock, which now is called Minute To Win It. You have a minute to win it. There used to be this old-time clock and you'd have to do some crazy-ass stunt, which in the '60s was like, "allow people of color to vote" or something. Very inappropriate and weird, but back then we had three channels, so it was England. Anything being on TV was exciting.

Bob Denver on Beat the Clock

Of course, Password was good, and The Dating Game was pretty neat. As a young kid I thought that was great. Now it's called "craigslist." You have no idea on the other side of the email. So, Mr. Right could be a psycho killer. You never know!

“The Gong Show worked so well in the '70s, because it was before YouTube and people could be crazy.”

But The Gong Show, we could talk about that for hours. We asked Chuck Barris to be part of it and he was laughing. I don't think we were even able to get in touch with him. I totally get why he wouldn't want to be in touch with it. The Gong Show worked so well in the '70s, because it was before YouTube and people could be crazy. People can watch like nine hours of skateboard accidents instead of the set-up things we were doing. So, yeah, it was a very difficult show.

Well, also, you were joking when you mentioned Angry Birds, but really, stuff like that, and YouTube, and reality shows, have kinda replaced the niche once filled by game shows.

Well, I can tell you what game show I hate, because you're exactly right, Dave: Silent Library on MTV. I don't know what that is, I don't know what that's about, but being quiet as a fat guy is beaten with fish? Maybe I'm old, but that shouldn't be happening in the library, that's for sure. Are there even libraries left? Doesn't everybody read on the tablet? There's a lot of things wrong with that show. You're right, it's very difficult to get anybody to watch anything. Everybody's got ADD now, and is flicking around on everything. I blame porn, but what can we do?

Combine porn with game shows?

I'm way ahead of you on that one. But you're right, reality shows have replaced game shows, with The Bachelorette, and I guess the funniest thing is that people really connect to these characters. I don't know where they get these people, but I don't know anyone like that, and if I did, I don't think they'd be looking for love. I think they'd already be hooked up. Flavor Of Love was pretty good. Those dating shows. That's a whole different genre of game shows.

Takeshi's Castle - Wipe Out

How do you feel about foreign game shows?

Game shows in this country are very very tame compared to, like, Italy, where there's full nudity and also I think penetration, and Japan, where they some sort of hell-week whatever it is. It's like a Special Ops training class for covert action. We kinda take their game-show ideas and then totally fun-them-down. Like Wipeout, they'll jump and moonwalk on a jungle-gym thing. In other countries they have piranha and e. coli virus in a baby pool and they have to swim through it. It's much tamer in the US.

What do you think is the future of game shows?

There's this one show called Deadliest Warrior. They have, like, a pirate fight a robot. That's a great show. Don't get drunk and bet on it, because they're fictitious characters. But it's hilarious because they'll have, like, the Zulu warrior against the Apache helicopter gunship and be like, "I wonder who will win." Some of them are lopsided.