The Best Football Fan Raps

Football fan raps are the purest form of glorifying our gridiron heroes. It’s the extension of an oral tradition of celebrating the exploits of great warriors that dates back to, like, Hercules or something. No one is immune to the pull of dramatizing the greatness of favorite athletes through verse – not the 1985 Chicago Bears themselves, not Lil Wayne, and not some guy named Matthias from Southern California who loves the Dallas Cowboys but prefers not to wear a shirt.

Before YouTube—when distribution meant blasting the cassette tape in your car with the windows rolled down—football raps were the province of the professionals. No, not professional rappers . . . the players themselves.

1985: "The Super Bowl Shuffle"

The first rap video by a football team, the infamous "Super Bowl Shuffle" was beloved by all (or some) and lingers on in the hearts of everybody (or some) from Chicago and (perhaps) elsewhere. But did you also know that this, er, tune was nominated for a Grammy? It lost to James Ingram & Michael McDonald's "Yah Mo B There." That's how bad it was.

1986: "Let's Ram It"

Since the Bears recorded "The Super Bowl Shuffle" and then went on to actually win the Super Bowl, apparently all other teams decided that recording a rap song was the simple key to victory. The L.A. Rams somehow managed to avoid irreparable shame while delivering lines like, "I like to ram it, as you can see. Nobody likes ramming it more than me!" Eight years later, in the middle of the night, the team hightailed it to St. Louis.

By the '90s, the football team rap video had mostly fallen out of favor. Players who'd grown up making fun of the awkward dance moves of the Bears and the Rams were now taking the field themselves, and they did not want to look like idiots. Whoops.

1990: "Can't Touch Us"

The Miami Dolphins had to settle for a radio hit rip-off for a quick novelty boost. Miami went 12-4 in '90; Dan Marino had his seventh consecutive 3,000-yard season; and the team gave up 44 points, losing to the Buffalo Bills in the first round of the playoffs. Also, 300-pound center Jeff Dellenbach tried to play a keytar.

1996: "Packarena"

After the failure of "Can't Touch Us," the fan rap video went underground. In fact, the only attempt at the form was the "Packarena"—and it was merely a local Wisconsin radio hit. Despite the fact that quarterback Brett Favre and coach Mike Holmgren refused to dance in the video, the "Packarena" was effective and the Green Bay Packers went on to win the Super Bowl. As a result, the fan rap video shuddered to life in its shallow grave.

In the Internet age, the football team fan rap video came home to roost, becoming a method of expression for the fans to create themselves. Finally, the amateur antics were being recorded by a bunch of actual amateurs.

2005: "We The Seahawks"

In 2005, the Seahawks were challenging the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl. (Fun fact: Mention this specific Super Bowl anywhere on the Internet, and Seahawks fans will still complain in the comment section about the refs. See below.) Some loyal Seattle rappers decided to pay tribute to their home team, and by doing so, ended up reviving a seemingly lost "art" form.

2007: "For My Bears"

Soon enough, just about everybody had a fan rap tribute. (Okay, not the Indianapolis Colts, because there are no rappers in Indiana.) Some of these raps—like this ode to the team that once performed "The Super Bowl Shuffle"—were actually sort of good. Not, like, "I'd listen to it in my car" good, but good in a contemporary and professional sort of way—which is more than you can say for most contemporary and professional songs.

2010: "Come On You Cowboys"

And then there's Matthias from Southern California. Matthias, do you love the Dallas Cowboys and hate wearing a shirt? Great! Do you have a song you'd like to sing for the people out there in Internet-land,? You do? How does it go? Are you a rapper or a singer? Or are you a dual-threat, like Drake? Let's find out. Oh, boy. You are a very aggressive rapper and perhaps a bit of a country singer. That is what you are, Matthias. Are you sad, Matthias, that this video has been online for almost two years and the Cowboys haven't started playing it before every game?

2010: "Arizona Diss Rap"

Anyone can pay tribute to their favorite team in this era of YouTube mediocrity. Take this guy, for example. Please. He despises the Arizona Cardinals. That is all we know, and all we need know. He bravely decides not to rhyme while rapping, instead favoring the gentle, pleading approach: "Just quit football right now Arizona / you ain't going places / the only thing you're competing for / is a number one draft pick." And that is as hard as he goes against the Cardinals. Not very gangsta.

2011: "Green Bay Packers Anthem"

Then there is the Def Crew. Despite sporting some Ted Nugent-style hair, this too-tame crew really gets into their rapping. They diss others with lines like, "The Pack having the season you thought your team should," which really does kind of say something if you're sad that it all ended. There's an ill-advised breakdown around the three-minute mark, but even that is kind of cool, because it means that these guys are really trying. We appreciate the enthusiasm—but don't want to be anywhere near this one.

2011: "Green And Yellow"

Lil Wayne quickly overshadows the Def Crew with his take on Wiz Khalifa's "Black And Yellow," delivering Weezy-licious lines like, "We knocked the Eagles, and the Falcons, and the Bears off / now we're about to cut Troy Polamalu's hair off." Great job, Lil Wayne. You have a bright football fan rap future ahead of you.