Adult Swim's List of the Top 600 People

The Internet is full of lists. There’s so many, it's getting hard to distinguish between the lists of actual value and the lists of no real consequence. That’s why we decided to shoulder the seemingly insurmountable task of creating the definitive list of Top People. We did not take this responsibility lightly. Over the course of several months, the best Adult Swim listmakers were routinely shuttled under cover of darkness to an undisclosed location, their only task to make an inventory of names in an ascending or descending order of significance and/or likability.

White boards were written upon. Tears were shed. More than a few feelings were hurt. The mere mention of Malcolm Jamal-Warner at 4 am caused one member of the brain trust to hemorrhage internally, resulting in a brief hospital stint. (He is now resting comfortably at home.) Finally, after months of vigorous debate, with the useless husks of spent dry-erase markers strewn across the battlefield, the fruits of their tireless labors rose from the ruins of what used to be a pretty nice conference room.

Illustrations by Jordan Sondler

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Internet, We Give You The List of Top 600 People

1. Elizabeth Taylor
2. Frank Lloyd Wright
3. Albert Einstein
4. Bernie Mac
5. Roger Moore
6. Fred Durst
7. Salvador Dali
8. Papa Smurf
9. Umberto Eco
10. Miles Standish
11. Ernest Borgnine
12. Billy Crudup
13. Adam Duritz
14. Martha Stewart
15. Ingmar Bergman
16. Gloria Estefan
17. Cameron Diaz
18. Larry David
19. Batman
20. Werner Herzog
21. Thomas Jefferson
22. Michael J. Fox
23. Sally Struthers
24. Mickey Rooney
25. Douglas Fairbanks
26. Lesley Ann Warren
27. Joyce Carol Oates
28. Mel Brooks
29. Optimus Prime
30. Percy Sledge
31. George Foreman
32. Method Man
33. Jon Stewart
34. Steven Spielberg
35. Miley Cyrus
36. Snagglepuss
37. Ice-T
38. Roger Daltrey
39. Steve Jobs
40. Ron Weasley
41. Morley Safer
42. Omar Epps
43. Les Claypool
44. Janeane Garofalo
45. Obi-Wan Kenobi
46. Adam Ant
47. Billie Holiday
48. Frodo Baggins
49. Ronald Reagan
50. Otto Preminger
51. Alex Trebek
52. Homer Simpson
53. William Howard Taft
54. Matthew Lillard
55. Jenna Jameson
56. Michael Gross
57. Lance Henriksen
58. Angelina Jolie
59. C. Thomas Howell
60. Marvin Gaye
61. Mimi Rogers
62. Paul Reubens
63. Mario Andretti
64. Doug Henning
65. David Lee Roth
66. Silver Surfer
67. Flavor Flav
68. Jesus Christ
69. Ferdinand Magellan
70. Mackenzie Astin
71. Lee Iacocca
72. George Washington
73. Martin Luther King, Jr.
74. Christopher Walken
75. Joan Jett
76. Emilio Estevez
77. Jim Varney
78. Reese Witherspoon
79. H.R. Pufnstuf
80. Billy Dee Williams
81. Kurt Vonnegut
82. Sandy Duncan
83. Pierce Brosnan
84. Robert Plant
85. Kathy Griffin
86. Walter Cronkite
87. Sigourney Weaver
88. Humphrey Bogart
89. Tim Burton
90. Tommy Lasorda
91. Bob Marley
92. Carole Lombard
93. Dr. Seuss
94. Jimi Hendrix
95. Jesse Ventura
96. Michael Jordan
97. Eve Plumb
98. Gary Gygax
99. Donald Duck
100. Stan Lee

#13. Yes, Adam Duritz's musical output is painfully mediocre. Nevertheless, this hasn't stopped him from, as one Huffington Post writer put it,
"[bedding] some of the hottest women in Hollywood, all while resembling a pineapple."

#37. Ice-T recorded "99 Problems" way back in 1993, but Jay-Z gets all the credit for his 2004 single of the same name. Hova, don't you know Ice is the O.G.?

#57. Lance Henriksen looks like an educated man, but he didn't know how to read until he was 30 years-old. And yet, he was in The Terminator and Aliens. Take that, book learning.