Adult Swim: 15 Internet Treasures for February 3rd

#15. Kyle's Interviews at Reptile Show

Well, lovers of reptiles have met their match when it comes to relatability.

#14. Terrible World Events Marky Mark Wouldn't Have Let Happen

You know, if we'd been there when Mark Wahlberg made those super-douchey comments, it wouldn't have gone down like that. We'd have been all up in his face, like "you'd better not say what it looks like you're about to say; you sit that pretty little ass back down and keep it quiet, mumbly little underpants-man." For reals.

#13. Generic Archetype Presentation

Copy that insults you as it delights you. Self-indulgent follow-up sentence acknowledging that "delights" is too strong a word brought on by transparently false modesty and a misguided notion that longer means funnier.

#12. Cats on Film: Jonesy from Alien.

Re-live Alien, from Jonesy the cat's point of view. They really should have given Jonesy a mecha cat suit.

#11. If Movie Posters Were Honest, Part 1

It's Oscar time! And before we cringe our way through about a quarter of the broadcast and then turn it off in favor of staring at the floor, we get Internet Oscar jokes, which we feel are far more tolerable.

#10. If Movie Posters Were Honest, Part 2

Yes, we like this setup a lot. Same movies different jokes. We could look at these all day. And have.

#9. Tim & Eric Billion Dollar Movie Pledge

Speaking of the Oscars, is it too soon to make a prediction for next year? "Best Anti-Marketing Campaign for Lorax" is a category, right?

#8. 7 of the Most Blatant Videogame Rip-Offs

Here, we didn't get any of these but we're sure you will.

#7. Slow Death of a Washing Machine

It's kind of reminiscent of Jeff Fahey's Disembodied head spinning those agents into oblivion in The Lawmower Man. But this has a better plot.

#6. Jeff Fahey's Disembodied Head Spinning Agents Into Oblivion in The Lawnmower Man

At around the 5:45 mark. This is somehow even worse than we remember. We should show this to seniors looking for an introductory course in surfing the web.

#5. Surfing for Seniors

Just think of the Internet as a horse and buggy, only the horse is a mouse and the buggy is a huge expanse of bewildering information, incoherent hostility and images that will scar your psyche and give you nightmares. Enjoy surfing!

#4. 5 Insignificant Things That Determine Who You Have Sex With

Finally, a reason to use these ring-finger elongators and cosmetic neck brace.

#3. Entertaining Comment Threads

Okay, folks, so this one is short on images and/or video. But wait! It's heavy on user-generated content and you cannot argue that you love yourselves when it comes to this stuff. And yes, some of you are actually quite hilarious.