Who's Suing Donald Trump This Time?
Late last week, the New York State Attorney General’s Office filed a lawsuit against Trump University, alleging that Donald Trump’s “education” business was engaging illegal and misleading business practices. Here are questions that people from around the web have about this dubious school:
Q: Did Donald Trump go to Trump University?
A: No. Donald Trump is not a complete idiot; he only exploits them.
Q: Is this a politically motivated attack on The Donald?
A: Maybe. However, if it is untrue, it should be easy enough to dismiss. If it is true, then this could expose Trump as a phony whose only real asset is making headlines and licensing his name.
Q: What?!? I'm a tenured professor at Trump University!
A: No, you are not. That is not a thing.
Q: I'm one of the guys who gave Trump my entire savings in exchange for valuable business knowledge. What kind of jobs can I get with my Donald Trump Degree?
A: We regret to inform you that you can't get any jobs with your "Donald Trump Degree."
Q: Why are people so upset? Everyone knows undergrad is an overview and you really need a master’s degree in Trump.
A: Trump University does not offer postgraduate programs. It is not an accredited undergraduate college in the first place.
Q: What about Trump cologne? Do I not really smell like Donald Trump?
A: An individual’s body chemistry has a lot to do with how a cologne ultimately smells. Even if you ate what Trump ate, bathed like Trump bathed, and lived how trump lived, it is unlikely you would ever smell like Donald Trump, even doused from head to toe in his nasty-smelling cologne.
Q: When do Donald Trump’s line of bras come out?
A: As of press time, Donald Trump had not announced any intention to release a line of bras.
Q: Don’t people who invest in someone as untrustworthy as Donald Trump deserve to have their pockets emptied out? I was one of them, so please say no.
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