Monday

There are YouTube prank videos being shot in your neighborhood every day this week. Try to ruin as many of them as possible. For Monday, YouTube comedy star Jack Awful is shooting a video where Jack walks up to people on the street and pulls them into hugs because who does that, right? Try to get Jack to hug you, but make sure to cover your front in live ants first.

Tuesday

The legendary YouTube comedy troupe Insufferable Young White Men Who Are Always From Utah For Some Reason is shooting a video where they ask people for directions to the place where they are standing, and then record their priceless reactions. When one of the guys from IYWMWAAFUFSR asks you for directions, scream, “I’ve just come from my wife’s funeral! We were supposed to have a lifetime together! How do I go on?” The guys from IYWMWAAFUFSR will move away from you to try and ask other people for directions, but just keep following them around screaming, “How?! How do I go on?! How?!”

Wednesday

YouTube comedy duo Jaeger & The Bro are shooting a video where they ask random women for oral sex, just to see what they would say. If a woman says no, Jaeger gives her an “I’m a lesbian” button. Follow Jaeger around and every time he opens his mouth, sound an air horn in his ear until he goes mad.

Thursday

The sketch group This Is Just Horrible is shooting a video where they try and brighten people’s day by surrounding them and performing dance numbers. When This Is Just Horrible starts dancing around you, take off your shirt and reveal that your torso is covered in a pattern of cigarette burns that spells out “Liar.” This Is Just Horrible will have to keep dancing, because according to their YouTube page, the purpose of This Is Just Horrible is “to dance people’s gloominess away.” As they dance, their big smiles will slowly fade to concerned frowns while they ponder what could have led to those burns. What did he lie about? Who did this to him? Is dancing for random strangers maybe not the best idea when we don’t know what horrors they’ve endured before suddenly being assaulted by a group of 23-year-old improvisers? Why is the ‘i’ in ‘Liar’ dotted with a heart? By the time the video is over, they will all have dropped to their knees in sobs, and you can just put your shirt back on and go on about your day.

Friday

YouTube sensation Danny Goofballs is shooting a video where he walks behind people and mimics the way they walk with big, silly movements because that’s a riot. When Danny Goofballs starts following you and making fun of your walk, lead him down an alley where his father who walked out on him when he was a child is waiting to tell him that he’s glad he left.

Saturday

The YouTube magician Steve The Worst is shooting a video where he uses sleight of hand to make bouquets of flowers appear in girls’ hands, and when they read the card on the flowers it says, “Kiss me.” Run into frame and beg Steve The Worst to use his magic to make your son’s emphysema medicine appear in your hand. “Please,” tell Steve The Worst. “I can’t afford it, but my son is very sick. Please, Steve The Worst. Please.”

Sunday

Sunday is jam-packed with prank video shoots so try to hit them all. There’s one being shot by The Douches where guys rub their crotches up against girls without asking them first, another by The Challenged Brothers where they go into elevators and fart, and another by the juggler Imbecilic Lewis where he juggles food in front of homeless people. Ruin each video any way you want. Then, assuming you recorded all of your efforts, upload the compilation to your own YouTube channel and start raking in the millions upon millions of views. Note: this will result in crippling depression when you realize you’ve basically created the ultimate YouTube prank video. When did you become what’s wrong with everything?

Bob Powers is the author of several humor books, including Happy Cruelty Day! and You Are A Miserable Excuse For A Hero. Read his writing daily at Girls Are Pretty and follow him on Twitter at @bobpowers1.