Top Séance Mistakes
Few things are more fun and informative than a séance with friends on Halloween! But communing with the dead can have its pitfalls, especially if you're not a professional gypsy yourself. Here are a few common mistakes to be aware of:
(1) Holding hands is unnecessary. Certain touchy feely séance-types have long perpetuated the myth that you must “create a circle” to contact spirits, but that is total nonsense. If hand-holding makes the group uncomfortable, you can actually create “bad vibes,” which are absolutely real and can wind up killing everyone in the room.
(2) Don’t invite your wife’s work friend Cindy. She’s one of those people who likes to guess aloud how the special effects work while you’re trying to enjoy a horror movie, and she’ll ruin everything. Cindy is a no-go.
(3) Be careful with candles! While they may be traditional at séances, they are also extremely dangerous. In fact, most of the dead people you summon at séances actually died in séance fires. It’s a vicious circle that dates back many millennia.
(4) Coaxing spirits into possessing objects is fun, but not a game. If you conjure the ghost of a serial killer and put it in a chainsaw, for example, things WILL get out of hand. Just put that same evil spirit in a Nerf football and you will find the seance much more enjoyable. As for your chainsaw, you can probably put Gandhi in there and be okay.
(5) Avoid contacting deceased celebrities. They wouldn’t have been interested in meeting you when they were alive, so why would they want to meet you when they’re dead?
(6) No salty snacks! They make everyone thirsty and it's hard to concentrate with people constantly asking for more diet raspberry iced tea.
(7) Invite at least one person you don’t like to the séance in case an aggressive spirit demands to consume someone’s soul. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a certain work friend of your wife, but you can hardly be responsible if she gets offered up to appease the dead.
(8) Should a troublesome person keep interrupting the séance, do not scream at Cindy that she's an overbearing cow and then claim it was a ghost speaking through you as a medium. Everyone will blame you anyway.
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