Pope On Gays: “Who am I to Judge Them?”
In remarks made to reporters on the way back from a trip to Brazil, Pope Francis said that, while homosexual acts were sinful, homosexual orientation was not, and that gay clergymen should be forgiven for their sins. Here are some of the questions people from around the web have about the Pontiff’s seeming about-face:
Q: Does this have anything to do with the fact that the pope was on his way back from Rio de Janeiro?
A: No, this pope has proved to be more moderate in his opinions than past popes.
Q: Pope Francis is gay?
A: Like all popes, Pope Francis has chosen a life of celibacy, and his true sexuality is not on the table for discussion. That said, we doubt that his sudden acceptance of homosexuals means he himself is gay. If anything, it means he is comfortable with his preferences and has an evolving attitude on the matter.
Q. In the wake of this announcement, will gay mailmen be expected to remain celibate?
A. The pope has no jurisdiction over U.S. Postal workers, and letter carriers, gay or straight, do not take vows of celibacy.
Q. Can I continue to judge gay priests?
A. Yes, but try to understand that you are an asshole, and absolutely no one cares what you think.
Q: Does this mean I can come out of the closet now?
A: I think by asking that question, you just did, Sean.
Q. Do you think this announcement will lead to ass-less leather vestments and big rubber dong mitres?
A. Whoa. No, probably not. Good lord.
Q: What if the pope was asked to be the Guest Judge on Project: Runway?
A: Well then I guess he'd have to judge at least a few gays, now wouldn't he?
Q: Can I tell you my pedophile priest joke? See, this priest...
Q: This pope's gone soft—let's kill him!
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