With the overturning of the Defense Of Marriage Act by the Supreme Court, gay rights in America have taken a huge step forward. To commemorate this landmark moment, here is a look back at some other leaps forward in homosexual equality:


197,014 BC: During a break from foraging, two male homo sapiens communicate through crude verbal cues that, while they enjoy orgasms, the idea of coupling with a female does not appeal to them.

Circa 600 BC: The Greek lyric poet Sappho begins the "U-Haul Lesbian" stereotype by moving in with her girlfriend after writing only two poems about her.

1463: Polymath Leonardo Da Vinci publicly denies being homosexual, but that just means he totally is.

1775: Paul Revere follows up his famous midnight ride with a second, gay midnight ride, in which he specifically warns homosexuals of advancing British soldiers. 

1894: Oscar Wilde is arrested for “deviant acts” and sent to prison, where no deviant acts are ever known to have occurred.


1924: Publisher Jack Chick is born. 

1956: Four years after his polio vaccine was released in 1952, Jonas Salk proudly announces that additional testing has proved the inoculation “safe and effective for homosexuals as well.”

2003: The United States Supreme Court strikes down sodomy laws, pretty much making it open season for the nonstop f**k-and-suck-fest in the streets that has continued to this day.


2011: The world at large collectively realizes that it doesn't at all care whether Tom Cruise is gay, much as they wouldn't really be too bothered if he fell into a volcano or got sucked through a jet's engine.

June 26, 2013: A brave copy editor comes out of the closet in a subtle, understated way, inspired by a gay-themed web article he is currently proofreading.