Three people were on hand Monday in London to taste the world’s first laboratory-grown hamburger. Here are some of the questions people from around the web are asking about this bland-tasting burger:

Q: Could these lab-grown hamburgers offer hope for the many people who die waiting for a donor hamburger?
A: No. While these hamburgers are made from stem cells, they are not human organs and cannot be transplanted.

Q: What about growing hamburger buns in a lab? Ever try eating a hamburger off a plate with a knife and fork? It’s weird, and I’ll never do it again.
A: Bread will continue to be made by traditional means, as it does far less damage to the environment than raising beef cattle.

Q: So now we don't have to kill cows and they will only be our one-ton sex-slaves? Hooray!
A: For a variety of reasons concerning social mores and personal safety, you should not be having sexual intercourse with cows.

Q: Will this taste better or worse than that quinoa s**t my wife is always making?
A: I guess that depends on your wife's quinoa recipe.

Q: But won’t beef grown in a lab also taste a lot like dog?
A: No. Did you seriously think “lab” meant “Labrador” and not “laboratory?”

Q: Can I get one with pickles, onions, mustard, ketchup and a side of fries?
A: Yes. That will be $325,000.68, please.

Q: Sustainability aside, have you ever spent any time around cows? Like, actually witnessed their incredible stupidity, stubbornness and utter lack of personality?
A: The moral weight of eating meat and animal treatment should not be measured based on one's dislike of cattle, if that is what you're driving at. But we totally get what you're saying.

Q: LAB GROWN COW MUSCLE? What's next?! An ear on a lab rat?
A: A scientist grew an ear on a rat in 1997. It was made out of cow cartilage.

Q: [faints]

Q: What about a lab grown Frosty to go with it? Ha! Wait, is this Twitter?
A: No, this is not Twitter, and if it were, that would be a very mediocre tweet. Two pity-favs, max.