Avoid the Nickname "Stink Nectarine" with Boundaries
Making boundaries is one of the most important things you can do as a human being. Not knowing how to create them is silly and will probably just get you killed. Think of boundaries as drawing a line in the sand and then saying, “I would feel very uncomfortable if anyone were to cross over this line.” If no one crosses this line, congratulations. You’ve successfully created a functioning boundary.
Pretty simple, right?
But it can all go wrong when someone crosses this line. That's why it's so vital that you make these boundaries with everyone you know. You should have previously stated what would happen if someone crossed this line, but let’s just assume you didn’t. Now you’ve got a huge problem because people are going to cross this line (and others!) over and over again. They’ll call you names or take the money you wanted to use to buy a hockey stick. Or they’ll kick you so much, you’ll be more footprint than human.
However, the fact that you were unclear about the consequences can actually work in your favor because now it can be anything. You can run away. You can stab this person with a sharpened spoon. You can put sugar in the gas tank of their car a month later, or you can slowly trim their houseplants down to a nub. In a way, there’s no wrong response when someone crosses the arbitrary line you have created.
Let’s say you’re on a bus. A passenger gets on the bus, sits down a few rows away, and begins reading a book, all of which are in direct violation of several unspoken personal boundaries. At that point, you’re well within your rights to pour soup or wet cement on this individual.
Likewise, there are consequences for violations of your emotional boundaries. If someone asks you how you’re feeling, you can decide on the spot whether to punch him six times in the stomach or flee to the sewers for the rest of your life. Remember: You have been violated. There is nothing you cannot or should not do.
Creating boundaries is about giving you the space you need to grow as a person. That’s why, with the help of boundaries, I’ve successfully cut off all communication with my family, held up the line at a computer repair store for 90 minutes, and given two coworkers the impression that they do not exist.
Also, I think I locked my dog in the bathroom, but things are kinda fuzzy this morning.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on boundaries. Please do not write, text or tweet any thoughts, critiques or compliments about this article to me. You will not enjoy what will happen if you do.
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