• 10.
    You watch them grow. You guide them. Eventually, you smell their penises.
  • 9.
    We haven't been this uncomfortable watching two men talk to each other since the clip right above this one.
  • 8.
    When our ability to say "Jackie Chan" is taken away, what are we left with, really?
  • 7.
    There is no good jazz or bad jazz, just one continuous stream of warbling, incoherent unpleasantness that makes certain people wrinkle their foreheads and snap. Scientists and music lovers remain baffled.
  • 6.
    It's amazing how the magic of television has hidden Patton Oswalt's tiny boy-body all these years.
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