• 1.
    The type of life you would lead that requires extensive special coverage for your testicles is probably the reason your regular provider dropped you years ago.
  • 2.
    As this ad proves, the B'Owl also provides a valuable lesson to young girls: be satisfied with the toys you have, or a genetically-mutated owl-bat hybrid will come into your room in the night.
  • 3.
    Your son's disappointment over not hearing his favorite song is nothing compared to the spite he'll forever have toward you for making him wear that vest.
  • 4.
    If you're an adult who can spend an entire day playing with a Frisbee, you shouldn’t be in charge of paying the bills in the family.
  • 5.
    We're not sure why Eric is so disappointed in the services provided by Cinco's banking division. There's no way you can have a name like Taargus and not be financially successful. Hell, Taargus has a boat and his wife Taargus sounds pretty hot.
  • 6.
    We're guessing that a night of passion by a warm fire atop a B'ougar-skin rug is not likely in this wussy husband's future.
  • 7.
    E-Z Kreme is a hazardous, semi-solid goo that causes painful diarrhea once you come in contact with it. The rest of this paragraph was going to be an easy gag about one of any number of popular fast-food restaurants, but they all advertise with us.
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