Adult Swim : The Complete Cinco Catalog (Season 4)

You've earned your money, so when you spend it, you want bang for your buck. Spend it on a regular apple? Does a regular apple knock you out and give you diarrhea? Does a regular energy drink have the tar and nicotine you crave? Does regular grief counseling give you a constant, tangible reminder of your horrific loss? No. Only Cinco does that. Thanks again, Cinco.

5.

Mouth Decorations

In pick-up basketball, the guy with jewels glued to his face generally gets picked last.
6.

Groban Sings Casey

Shhh. Don't interrupt, we're soaring through the clouds on the wings of a Groban-eagle.
7.

Cigarette Juice

Anyone out there who's accidentally drank from a can with an extinguished cigarette in it is pretty jazzed about being able to buy that refreshment at any time.
8.

e-Trial

There are a shortage of products advertised as "perfect for rape."
9.

The C-Bund

Finally, something that looks even less dignified than the male genitalia. People won't know which one to look away from first.