• 5.
    Can't tell you how many times someone in tech support has asked us, "Have you tried shooting your son in the face with a shotgun?"
  • 4.
    Seriously, when you're busy smashing protons together to open up black holes, who's really gonna miss one or two dead prostitutes?
  • 3.
    When we think "intelligent design" the first thing we think of is "a chicken anus that vomits Ranch dressing".
  • 2.
    We don't know when the robot apocalypse will hit, but we DO know that we will all have excellent directions explaining how to get there.
  • 1.
    Technology: making dreams and suicides come true.