• 5.
    If you scored high enough on Joust, you'd get this great cut scene that explained why you're a knight riding an ostrich on suspended platforms over a lava pit harboring an enormous demon or possibly Satan, and what's up with the pterodactyls, and why the buzzards lay an egg when you kill their knight. It was a still-shot of a programmer doing blow.
  • 4.
    Of all the hilarious ways that Dirk the Daring met his death in Dragon's Lair, cancer was the only one that really made you think.
  • 3.
    Ironically, Bill had just quit his job as a professional ostrich-mounted jouster because he thought mining would be safer.
  • 2.
    Tomb Raider works the same muscles if you can deal with the shame.
  • 1.
    It was a simpler time, before greed and avarice sent us down a dark path of recognizable graphics and enjoyable gameplay.
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