• 10.
    There isn’t a single one of you that wouldn’t look at a presentation outline for a personal tortilla chip silo facility and skip right over the bottom line from overexcitement. Not a single one of you.
  • 9.
    Between the sunny beaches and the liberal application of rouge, you’d think they’d have caught on to the overall tone. Then again, it’s probably hard to concentrate when you’re surrounded by models straddling water noodles. What’re we talking about? Oh, right. That gum looks awesome.
  • 8.
    Statistics show that every pet-based eulogy quickly morphs into a whimsical, technicolor episode recap. It’s really the most obvious way to pay your respects.
  • 7.
    When you lay them all out in the open like that it almost makes Murderface seem irresponsible.
  • 6.
    It’s never easy to admit that you’re a Norse sex god on a divine mission to bed every woman on Earth. Somehow, Skwisgaar found the inner-strength to climb that mountain. We’re proud of you, buddy.
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