Meetings suck. No one wants to be in them. Have you ever heard of anyone leaving one, saying, "That was a really great meeting!" If you have, that person is not to be trusted and is usually the office punching bag. That being said, Dethklok's band meetings are great. They get to openly display the hostility that we wish we could show every time we have to go through our annual Employee Evaluation.

• 6.

  I Can Make My Voice Sound Like a Trumpet

  We always felt that all that separated Dethklok from Chicago was brass instrumentation.
• 5.

  Not Just a Car Race

  Honestly, we probably would pay a pretty good amount of money to see a death metal Nascar-type theatrical hybrid event.
• 4.

  Pornography Awards

  Who hasn't dreamed of going to the Pornography Awards and hobnobbing with some of the most worn out, sensation-free genitals in the country?
• 3.

  Takin' It Easy

  The best way to experience new music is to have a hot towel handy.
• 2.

  Publicity Is About Being Seen

  The best way to get publicity is to "accidentally" expose your genitals. But don't take it from us, ask Britney Spears, Pete Wentz, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Janet Jackson. (Don't ask Dustin Diamond, though).
• 1.

  Knock Knock Texting

  Toki may have the only cell phone without caller ID.

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