• 5.
    Honestly, we probably would pay a pretty good amount of money to see a death metal Nascar-type theatrical hybrid event.
  • 4.
    Who hasn't dreamed of going to the Pornography Awards and hobnobbing with some of the most worn out, sensation-free genitals in the country?
  • 3.
    The best way to experience new music is to have a hot towel handy.
  • 2.
    The best way to get publicity is to "accidentally" expose your genitals. But don't take it from us, ask Britney Spears, Pete Wentz, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and Janet Jackson. (Don't ask Dustin Diamond, though).
  • 1.
    Toki may have the only cell phone without caller ID.