Traditions are important in Arlen, Texas. And when it's November, you can be sure to count on three things: People will be cheering for the Tom Landry Longhorns. Bill Dauterive will be crying into his stuffing. And the best turkey in town will be cooked up by Hank Hill using propane and propane accessories.

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• 7.

  Thanksgiving Boggle Tournament

  Luanne breaks the first rule of Thanksgiving by telling the truth.
• 6.

  All The Ingredients For a Brown Betty

  Peggy's mother makes a rare appearance in this clip, so for all of the fans wishing for an older, harsher, more unlikable version of Peggy Hill, you're in luck!
• 5.

  Your Father Is Going To Ruin Thanksgiving

  After a day of giving humble thanks by being gluttonous, make it all better by getting up early and pushing people out of the way to save 20 % on winter fashions.
• 4.

  More Food Than Money

  If we had been behind Bill in line, this clip would have a different ending. Possibly one with us being hauled to jail for assault.
• 3.

  Turkey Bomb

  On the plus side, that turkey probably didn't feel a thing.
• 2.

  Bobby's Ladies Magazine

  Bobby gets a pass on the one day a year that using an oven isn't feminine.
• 1.

  When Does The Killing End

  Children are naturally horrified when they learn about history. Maybe it would help if we renamed Thanksgiving "The Great Indian Rape," and called Easter "Murder Day."