• 5.
    Quagmire has sex with homeless women
    We're not sure what's more disturbing: the fact that Quagmire has had sex with homeless twins or the fact that no one besides Stewie seems disturbed by it.
  • 4.
    Self Control
    How is this even a test? If we were naked in front of our friends while they were watching our weiner for signs of life, it would kind of put a damper on things.
  • 3.
    Does This Look Like a Q?
    Everyone agreed that Quagmire's genitals did do an excellent Lois impression.
  • 2.
    Never a Bad Time with the Q-Man
    The slinky dance moves. The seductive drink making. The pledge to let us do anything. Quagmire is pretty much our dream lady.
  • 1.
    Who Else But Quagmire?
    Of course Quagmire's theme music would be reminiscent of Woody Woodpecker.