Wouldn't it be great to just sit down with a newscaster and pick his brain? Just open his head, take out his brain, and pick it apart, so he can't use it anymore? Or maybe just put back the parts that read, not the ones that are in charge of asides, dismissive bluster, intonation that belies a political slant, concern-face, and banter. And find the one that's in charge of headline wordplay and just light it on fire.

• 10.

  A School For Bunnies

  If we never watched the news, what would we use to feed our anxiety? Don't go hungry, stay informed.
• 9.

  You Sly Boots

  Be careful what you wish for. It might sack the crap out of you.
• 8.

  I've Got Wood

  Years later, Who's the Boss is still bringing communities together.
• 7.

  Cock Awareness Week

  Cocks need constant attention. And yes, we give it to them.
• 6.

  Out Drinkin'

  Better than Cops? Better than Cops? Is that even possible?

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