Middle-child characters in sitcoms are usually the most sensitive, quiet and thoughtful children - just think of Darlene Connor in "Roseanne," Lisa Simpson on "The Simpsons" and Carol Seaver on "Growing Pains." Chris Griffin shares nothing with these women, outside of having a large rack.

Watch Family Guy weeknights at 11pm.

• 5.

  Scavenger Hunt

  Let's face facts: a new pencil and a speed-limit sign are both pretty good prizes.
  
• 4.

  Bovine Lummox

  If Chris is trying to lose weight with Peter's coaching then he is dumber than we previously thought.
  
• 3.

  Meg's Advice

  Sitting in your father's lap and kissing him might not get him to take you out of the Scouts, but it will make the Scouts reconsider your membership.
  
• 2.

  Friends and Lovers

  It's hard to find an appropriate song to sing at your teenaged sister's birthday party, but one that starts with lyrics about being afraid to make love is a pretty good place to not start.
  
• 1.

  Human Race

  These rat puppets are even creepier when you learn Chris used the floss that he pulled out of Brian's ass in the earlier clip.
  

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