• 5.
    Any story that starts off with a dynamite pair of slacks is headed for tragedy. It's like going to see a movie about an animal. We'll save you two hours - the animal is going to die. It will be sad. You're welcome.
  • 4.
    Emily Post warns that it's tacky to use graphics when showing your girlfriend's family an I'm-banging-your-daughter/sister video presentation.
  • 3.
    The Rod Stewart distraction never fails.
  • 2.
    We definitely recommend relationship counseling. If you don't have someone there to tell you who's winning, revelatory triumphs like this just aren't possible.
  • 1.
    Thank god our first decision as a man wasn't witnessed by anybody. It was very much a disgrace to God.
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