Remember that time when salmonella got into your bloodstream and you were in the hospital and got an awesome sponge bath from a totally hot nurse? Well, she had a really engorged vagina and liked having sex with Klingons. Sorry to burst your bubble.

• 10.

  Sweaty Sex

  Tip: before going to the hospital, make sure that your HMO covers invisible saxophone players.
• 9.

  Ghost Sex

  Sure, your girlfriend "lives in the spirit realm" -- heard it a million times.
• 8.

  Handicapable Sex

  A valuable reminder that the physically disabled can still provide perfectly good handjobs.
• 7.

  Sexy Costume Sex

  Sexy hot dog totally puts out.
• 6.

  Engorged Vagina Sex

  Women say they want a guy with a good sense of humor, but really, they want a guy who likes looking at engorged vaginas.

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