Here on the moon, we've surpassed the need for introductory text. Do you think your caveman brain can understand that?

ATHF Season 9 starts this Sunday, Feb 7th, at midnight with "Rabbot Redux."

• 9.

  The Quad Laser

  It's a little known fact, but if you meet someone with a head that fits on your own head like a puzzle piece, you can shoot lasers together.
• 8.

  And Now, We Burgle

  Hate to say it, but we've been pulled in by the old offers-of-urine-soaked-necklaces gambit too many times to remember.
• 7.

  The Mooninites Steal Carl's Porn

  The more we learn about forensic science, and just life in general, the less we want to have anything to do with someone's pre-owned pornography.
• 6.

  Digital Nards

  Apart from being square, that's a healthy looking set of nards. We'll be the first to say this principal has nothing to be ashamed of.
• 5.

  Bad Glaucoma

  The food service and film crew industries have very few cases of butt crack cancer. It's true, look it up.

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