• 5.
    Next summer, Blood Ocean II will feature a little more blood, and a little less Dethklok.
  • 4.
    In our opinion, most summer movies would benefit from at least 33% more naked cartwheels.
  • 3.
    The only thing that could make this vacation better would be to replace the virgin colada with a shotgun for Raz's face.
  • 2.
    The pool monster is a common summer pest that can easily be eradicated with a little bug spray and the occasional human sacrifice.
  • 1.
    Don't turn up your nose at swimming in imported Chinese wolf urine until you've actually tried it.
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