• 10.
    Jared is an awesome assistant. Not only is he willing to live with a homicidal maniac at his employer's request, he's even okay with taking some broken glass to the face. You have to keep people like that around.
  • 9.
    Unfortunately, "eaten by own ass" is not covered by Dr. Weird's Accidental Death and Dismemberment policy.
  • 8.
    "My body is rejecting the claws." We can't even count how many times we've heard that old excuse.
  • 7.
    Nepotism runs rampant in the legal field, even among shamanic witch doctors who don't speak English.
  • 6.
    Around here, we constantly have to remind the interns, "Do what we tell you, or we will drop you into a volcano."
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