So, Earth Day, huh? Look, we get it. The environment is important, natural resources are precious, all that stuff is great. You know what's not great? Mother Nature's wildly unpredictable tantrums. Grow up, nature.

• 9.

  Mid-Concert Volcanic Eruptions

  You fill one little volcano with a lake of boiling coffee, blast it with piercing metal, and look what happens. What, are we not allowed to have any fun?
• 8.

  Sentient Corn

  We give our most popular crop some breathing room and it struts around like it owns the place. You would never see this sort of behavior from mutant parsley.
• 7.

  Evil Tree

  His life probably would have gone differently if he had been named "Simply Misunderstood Tree."
• 6.

  Giant Killer Squirrels

  Never wander into the forest ass-first. Wild animals interpret that as a direct threat.
• 5.

  Court Summons from the Woods

  If there's a better strategy for avoiding a court summons than setting fire to the messenger and locking yourself indoors then we aren't aware of it.

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