• 9.
    You fill one little volcano with a lake of boiling coffee, blast it with piercing metal, and look what happens. What, are we not allowed to have any fun?
  • 8.
    We give our most popular crop some breathing room and it struts around like it owns the place. You would never see this sort of behavior from mutant parsley.
  • 7.
    His life probably would have gone differently if he had been named "Simply Misunderstood Tree."
  • 6.
    Never wander into the forest ass-first. Wild animals interpret that as a direct threat.
  • 5.
    If there's a better strategy for avoiding a court summons than setting fire to the messenger and locking yourself indoors then we aren't aware of it.
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